Page 106 of Thorns That Bloom
How can one body contain so much feeling? It can’t.
“Of course. I couldn’t really help lately, since I’ve been working nights,” he says, all smiley. It’s good that at least one of us is an early bird. “I burned my wrist a little when testing the milk, but don’t worry, I made sure it was good before I gave it to her.”
I snort in response to his dumb grin. “You idiot.”
“It was a-okay, wasn’t it?” he coos at her in his baby voice once the bottle is empty and Melody stops sucking. “Yes, it was!” Turning on his heel, Theo goes to put the bottle in thekitchen and comes back to bed, already gently patting her back to burp her. Once he sits on the edge of the bed, I move in to give him a kiss.
“So, bad news… I don’t think I have any clean shirts left here.”
I glance around.Washing. Need to do the washing. Crap.
“You should be able to fit into my old pregnancy ones,” I note. Theo nods happily, even though he looks more focused on burping Melody.
As I watch him be the best dad and just completely, disgustingly perfect, something shifts inside me. “You might as well move in at this point,” I blurt out. Theo immediately stops all his movements and turns his head to me, eyes wide. “I mean, you…pretty much live here already.”
He realizes I’m serious, and his entire face lights up.
That damn smile. I adore it.
“Really?”
“Really,” I say. “Where else would I get a free, twenty-four-seven babysitter?”
Theo shoots me a playful glare, snorting over my joke.
I’ve never asked anyone I dated in the past to move in. It never went that far. I used to find my independence so important, but what’s the point of independence when I want to share my life with somebody? Two hearts beating in one rhythm, as Theo likes to call us, shouldn’t be separated by tenancy agreements or ZIP codes, should they?
Melody has burped enough for about a week, so Theo puts her back into a cradling position and just stares at her lovingly while holding her little hand and humming one of the many lullabies in his repertoire. She coos, wriggles a little, and thenstills before letting out a groan, a little sniffle, followed by a full-blown cry.
“Oh, no. No, no, no, it’s okay,” Theo mutters, shoulders tensing, and rocks her to the best of his ability, desperation marking his face. “Everything’s okay, Melon. Shhh…”
Unfortunately, nothing helps. It never does. I watch him with furrowed brows, as I always do, my heart breaking at his attempts to soothe her until he eventually gives up and hands her to me with that defeated expression.
“Don’t,” I warn sternly, not wanting him to torture himself again, but it’s too late. With his bottom lip held up like he’s going to join the baby in her wailing, he hunches next to me.
“You’re right that I might as well be living here, because I do. I’m with her all the time, and every time I hold her, she ends up crying.” The genuine anguish in his voice makes my chest tighten.
Melody is already babbling peacefully in my arms, her dewy pink cheeks and the few leftover tears glistening on her skin the only evidence of her outburst left.
“It’s noteverytime.”
“Pretty much. I…I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. The moment food stops being involved, she just freaks out. I don’t think she likes me. What if she doesn’t like me because she can sense that—”
“Hey!” I snap my finger in front of his face, making him blink and hopefully wake up from the gloomy prison he’s locking himself into. “Don’t be ridiculous. She’s a baby. Babies are stupid, Theo. You read all those child development books, didn’t you? You know she doesn’t even realize that she’s a separate being from me. She thinks I’m an extension of her.That’s all it is. She loves you because you love her. Don’t you dare suggest otherwise.”
Like a dog with its ears down, Theo lowers his chin, a smile slowly growing on his lips. Finally, he sighs. “I suppose you’re right.”
“Of course I’m right.”
I move aside for him to sit next to me. He rests his head against mine so we can feed off the adorable sight of Melody together. It’s like a drug I never knew I needed. That and her smell. Ah, that comforting, heavenly, new-baby smell. It’s already fading from her soft brown hair, but it is imprinted in my mind forever.
“We need a little more time for our brain to develop to appreciate Papa, don’t we?” I say, puffing out my cheeks and exaggerating my expression at her as I play with her tiny, kicking feet.
Theo leans in, tickling her belly.
He flinches when a high-pitched screech comes out of her. Or rather, her attempt at a giggle. Melody smiles widely, her eyes wrinkling and tongue lapping around in her little mouth.
We share a pleased glance. “See?” I peck his cheek. “Told you. She loves you.”
