Page 105 of Thorns That Bloom
He parts his lips, shedding more tears. “Theo…”
“But maybe you’re right, and you shouldn’t put my name there. Maybe I pushed you, and this is only some hormonal, innate urge to latch on to a safe person to take care of you in your time of need. Maybe you won’t want me in your child’s life when this is over, and I don’t want you to have to—”
“Shut up,” he says, pulling me closer. “I might be hormonal, but I’m not out of my mind. I’m a fucking adult, too, and I…I’m not doing this for that reason.”
“I know you aren’t. I wasn’t suggesting that you were.”
“I didn’t need anyone before you came along, you understand? I was determined to go through this alone. To do it all by myself. I didn’t want anyone. And now, when I think of something happening to me, god forbid, and her being alone, I…I don’t think of my parents taking care of her, I think ofyou.” Sam lets out a sob that sounds like joy, like relief. I move in to hug him tightly, feeling his hands immediately wrap around my back and squeeze on tight.
His words keep playing in my head, like this is a dream I’m going to wake up from, and my mind is trying to hold on to it, to remember, until it slips away.
“Shhh… You’re going to upset the baby and make all the machines blare for the doctors to come,” I say, hoping to make him laugh, but even my voice breaks as I shed tears into his soft hair smelling of blackcurrant and sage andcomfort.
It smells exactly as I always imagined love being like.
“I’m not upset,” he mumbles between sobs. “I’m happy. I’m…I’m telling you that maybe I’m buying into us being fated mates, okay? That’s what I’m trying to get out.”
I move away, perhaps a little too quickly. “Are you serious?” I whisper, a quaver passing through my voice.
Sam glares at me. “Of course I’m serious!” He sounds almost offended.
I want to believe him. My god, I want to believe that he’s telling me what I’ve longed to hear and never imagined I would. At least not for a…long time.
“I might not experience it the same way you do. Maybe… Ah, I can’t believe I’m saying this,” he mutters to himself while wiping away his tears. “Maybe everybody experiences it differently. Yeah, I haven’t felt the instant, unmistakable pull toward you that you have, but there wassomething, looking back. Something difficult to grasp but…steadfast and true.”
My heart feels so full I don’t know what to do with myself. I want to squeeze him so hard he’ll feel it beating against his chest, and I want to kiss him until there’s no air left in my lungs.
“Now you’re the one getting upset.” He chuckles, petting me over the head.
“I’m not upset. I’m…”
“Happy. I know,” he says softly. “Whatever this is, even if there’s no such thing as fated mates…then we choose to love each other. I choose you because you made me feel understood. Safe. And that’s powerful in itself.”
Sobbing like a baby and shaking with pure, unfathomable joy, I kiss him again.
He’s right. Fated mates or not, I choose him, and will always choose him, no matter what. And by some damn miracle, he chose me, too.
Chapter 26
Sam
I lazily roll onto my side, face sinking into the warm, soft pillow. Letting out a deep exhale, I enjoy the sense of calm from a good night’s sleep. Birds chirp somewhere in the distance; a tender, cheerful melody. Otherwise, the world is peaceful. Quiet.
Wait. Peaceful…and quiet?!
My eyes snap open. I jerk my head up, reaching for the bassinet only to find it empty. I sit and look around, breathless panic surging through me until I see Theo standing in the kitchen, Melody peacefully in his arms, drinking from a bottle he’s holding for her.
I’ve never been happier for the open-plan layout, because it feels like another second of not seeing her would’ve given me a heart attack.My god.Why do I always feel like this?
Theo gives me a confused glance as I put my hand over my chest and plop back down with a sigh. “I’m sorry for startling you,” he says, mild amusement shining through his words. “You were sleeping so soundly, and she was hungry. I managed to get up and make a bottle before she startedbawling.” He sounds proud of himself.
I no longer feel the prickling sensation of near-heart attack underneath my skin, so I slowly sit again, pulling myself against the headboard. I don’t know how I slept through them moving about. Usually, my eyes snap wide open the second she so much as whimpers in her cot.
I guess I was tired enough.
“Thank you,” I say with a smile once Theo walks up to the bed. The bottle is nearly finished and Melody’s sucking happily, balled fists bobbing up and down. I take a moment to admire the whole picture—the sight of Theo wearing nothing but his boxers, his honey-blond hair all ruffled. I never would’ve thought that just seeing those muscular arms carrying a tiny, helpless baby would be such an incredible turn-on. And not just in a sexual way.
Every time Theo holds Melody with that intentional care of his, or when he looks at her like she’s the most precious thing in the world, I want to smash my head against the wall with how unable I am to deal with the intense, overwhelming, completely deranged bliss I experience.
