Page 23 of Sinners Keepers
Alec sighed, casually nuzzling the top of my head and placing a kiss on my unruly hair. He breathed in deeply, eliciting a disapproving grunt from Law.
I was enjoying the unexpected attention and I didn’t appreciate his discouragement of it, so in my half-drunk state, I decided maybe he would feel better if he received a little attention of his own.
I looked up at Alec and winked, then wrapped my arms around Law’s bicep and pulled him closer to us, laying my head on his shoulder while making sure the rest of my body was still cozy against Alec. I definitely didn’t want him to feel left out or anything like that.
Law tensed, but Alec got the message. “Better now that we’re home with you,” he finally answered, massaging one of my lats like it was the most natural thing in the world for him to have his hands on me.
“Law?” I prompted.
He stared straight ahead, grunting again in response. I wanted so badly to tell him to use his words.
I snorted. “You can’t just grunt in response to literally everything.I asked how your day was.”
“He had a rough one,” Alec replied for him.
“Oh?” I asked, attempting again to grab his attention. “Is there anything I could do to make it better?” I slowly ran my hand up the inside of his thigh.
Okay. Maybe I was more than just alittledrunk.
His hand snapped around my wrist, halting me from inching any further.
I’d be lying if I said it didn’t hurt my feelings a bit, but then he said, “Hunter, I am not a good person and if you don’t stop I willeagerlytake advantage of you while you’re unable to consent andyouwill be the only one who regrets it in the morning.”
“Make that double,” Alec groaned.
Mother. Fuck.
I wouldhaveto be drunk to evenconsiderbeing with both of them in the same night. Together, separately… didn’t matter.
What the fuck was wrong with me?
A lot of things, to be fair.
I thought about the fact that I actuallylovedhaving drunk sex, and most assuredly wouldnotregret anything the next day.
It was a bit of a fetish for me—the heightened sense of feeling so utterly submissive when I’m too out of it to say anything butyesto being fucked senseless completely fulfills my CNC kink.
But that wasn’t a conversation I could have with either of them now, and thinking of it made me think of the only person who’d ever allowed me a safe space to act on these desires without feeling any kind of shame about the fact that I’ve never had control of anything in my life. Some fucked up part of me wanted to be the one to have the say-so in giving up that control for once, and this had always been a safe way for me to explore those desires. Or, at least, I thought it had been. I wasn’t sure now how safe I’d ever truly been in his hands.
I hated myself for the way I missed Ijah, and the fact that thoughts of him were creeping into my head was like a bucket of ice water being dumped on me.
I also hated the fact that every part of my life was now tainted by the memories I had of our time together. There was an emptiness inside me that just wouldn’t fucking leave, and it felt so at odds with how I was beginning to feel when I was with Alec and Law.
“Sorry,” I mumbled, gently shoving myself away from them. “I… I guess I’ll just...”
I stood abruptly, deciding it would probably be better for everyone involved if I went to bed. I tugged my comforter off of the couch and wrapped myself up like some kind of loser burrito and scuffled toward the stairs.
“Hunny?” Alec called after me.
I turned to face him, arching an eyebrow.
“Sleep it off, angel. We’ll still be here tomorrow when your walls are back up.”
I nodded once and turned away from both of them, quickly making my way to my bedroom before I did anything else embarrassing.
CHAPTERTHIRTEEN
Hunt
