“No, what’s not fair is we are in one of the most historically rich and beautiful places on Earth, and you are looking at your phone.” She huffs and crosses her arms. We get up to the counter and order croissants and espresso.
“I don’t think I’ve eaten this much in months,” she says, looking at the croissants. I chuckle and nod.
“We’re usually too busy or too in our heads to think about anything else,” I say. She nods. We had a good night last night, but she’s on edge. If she’s looking at NA, then it makes me think she’s itching for some OBA to make all the heavy feelings lighter.
After the café, we kept walking and stopped periodically to look at shops or restaurant menus. A while later, we got closer to the city center where we were staying. “Where would you like to go next?” I ask her.
“Before you rudely took my phone, I was thinking about the Milan Cathedral. It’s in Milan, but maybe we could visit it if we have the cash. It’s one of the few authentic Gothic cathedrals in the world. The rest, like the Basilica, are more baroque or Rococo. I was…”
“Well, let’s look into it later. It might have to be closer to the time we leave so we can, you know, eat.” She nods and bites her lip.
She doesn’t know that I already looked up Gothic cathedrals in Italy. I worked some extra appointments to save up for it. I figured out we could do a quick flight from Florence before we returned to Rome. But we can only make it work if there are no surprise expenses. I don’t want to disappoint her, so I keep my lips sealed.
“We really should go get supplies,” she says. I whip out my phone and hand hers back to look up the place the organizer told us about. It’s a fifteen-minute walk from here.
“Alright, we need to go this way.” I point to our right.
“You’re the GPS. Let’s go,” she says with a bounce in her step.
I chuckle. “I’m a GPS?” She grins and nods.
“I’m starting to wonder if I should call youMapQuest.”
I chuckle again. “DoesMapQuesteven exist anymore?”
She shrugs. “Don’t know, don’t care. I kind of like it,” she says.
“Maybe we can come up with something more sexy?”
“What’s sexy about knowing the direction we’re going in?” she asks.
“Well, if my girlfriend is—“ I glance at her, knowing the word that just came out of my mouth wasnotsomething we discussed. I snap my mouth shut and lead the way to the art store with my heart threatening to leap out of my chest.
I want us to be more. You can’t be doing what we do, go through what we’ve gone through, and not title it. I want her to be mine, and if the title girlfriend is a way to do that, then I mean every letter. I just didn’t intend to say it now. My muscles tense more and more as we walk in the direction of the store.
She’s been quiet for the past ten minutes, and I’m about to crawl out of my skin. We’re getting closer, and I can’t take it anymore. I pull her off to the side and crowd her against the wall.
I brush her hair back and lift her chin. I know all she will see in mine is fear. I just launched us fifty steps back, which is basically square one, and I don’t know what I’ll do if we have to start over again. “Revna?” I say, breathless because my lungs refuse to work properly. Her teeth bite her lower lip, and my heart drops. I’ve lost her. Frustration burns in the back of my throat, and I try to swallow it down. “Baby, please,” I beg.
“I’m not mad, Lachlan. I’ve just …I’ve never been anyone’sanything.“ She takes a shaky breath, and her cheeks puff into my palms.
A nearly unbearable ache rises, and I kiss her with every bit of my heart and soul. The beast screamsmine,and I know she is and has been for a while now. She leans into the kiss, and the rest of the world disappears.
Her watery smile makes my heart thump even harder in my chest. “Let’s go get some art supplies. I might have an idea.” She nods, and I wipe her tears with my thumb.
Chapter 57
Revna
I’mhisgirlfriend.Idon’t know why that word is so strange to me. I still can’t understand why he would want me. I’ve been trying to find reasons, and I’m starting to annoy myself because of it. But when we arrived, I decided this was the perfect time to do better. Lachlan has given me every reason to try, not just for him but for me.
I’ve never thought of myself as a victim. I never will, but I know I’ve been up against it since I was a kid. Now I’m in Rome, a dream that’s now reality. If that’s not a reason to try a new way, then Lachlan is.
We get to the supply store, and I go straight for the paints. Luckily, everything is in English and Italian, so it’s easy to find what we need. We already have our paintbrushes and clean palettes. We just need canvases, paint, and anything else we could use.
I find Lachlan looking at a shelf with paint gel to make it thicker. “How many canvases do you think we need?”
“I don’t know, do we want to do another multi-piece?” he asks.