Page 142 of Rivals
I unlock the door and let Revna in first. She gasps, dropping her bag at her feet. After talking to Chris, I came home and started planning our Sistine Chapel. I didn’t draw everything, but I have notes around the edge of each page. Then, I mixed some paints for our color scheme for the pieces. It’s going to be big, really big. I laid out nine large sketch pages, and because the theme is light, the center panel is the focus of light. The other pages are in an order that’s not necessarily chronological but based on my perception of our events, so it can start on either end. But ultimately, it concludes in the center.
She kneels and reads my notes on the margins. A small smile grows on her face, and it helps me relax just a little. “I love this, Lachlan. I think the order is perfect, but you didn’t specify what you want either side of the middle one to be.”
I shrug and run my hand through my hair. “I was hoping you could come up with something.”
She looks at the empty pages and then scans them all again. “I’ll have to think about it, but maybe it will come to us. I think we should work from the outside in. Your colors are good, but maybe you should include hot pink.”
I chuckle. “Really?”
“I mean, if it’s our story, hot pink would definitely be in the first-time panel,” she says. Her cheeks turn pink, which is wholly satisfying to me.
“That is true.”
“Grab me a pencil,” she says. I get the jar on the window sill and set it between us. She grabs one and starts spacing out a sketch labeled’ Italy’ on the page. I start on the one marked ‘Our First Kiss.’ I feel it every time she kisses me. The electricity that runs through my veins makes my heart beat faster. I am not the man I was when I am with her. We sketched silently until I had to move because my foot was falling asleep. I grab a glass of water and watch her work. When I went to her place, I was afraid to look into her eyes too closely, afraid I would see blown pupils.
Part of me wants to go through her bag, find the pills, and flush them. But I know if I do that, it will make it worse. She will push me away even more; that is the last thing I want. I want her to lean on me when she wants to fade away. Being present, even if it’s hard, is better. It has to be.
Chapter 83
Revna
Wesketchedwhatfeltlike all night. We have about a month to finish nine large canvases, but I don’t know if it’s possible. We have worked against impossible odds and lack of time before, but even I’m not sure if it will work. The amount of detail it will take to pull this off is more overwhelming now than when I first suggested it.
Despite the time constraint, it’s nice to lose myself in art again. I haven’t been able to make anything for a while now. It’s not just the drugs. It’s also the depression. It descended on me like a slowly approaching storm cloud, and now it won’t stop raining. But having a purpose and utilizing the original idea along with Lachlan’s thoughts gives me a little spark of inspiration that makes me feel like I can do my part. I look up and find Lachlan looking at me from the kitchen.
He tilts his head and I lean mine back. A small smile grows on his face. It might be raining, but maybe we can find a way to dance in it, too.
***
My eyes peel themselves open, and my bladder is screaming to be relieved. I groan with the blinding sun coming through the window. I pull myself out of bed and shuffle over to the bathroom. Just a few more hours and I’ll be ok. I can keep going. I’m scheduled to work the afternoon shift, and I think I have time to do both. I just need to know what time it is.
After almost falling asleep on the toilet, I wash my hands and search for my phone. Please, dear God. Please let me have at least three more hours. I can work with that. I look at my phone and it’s already ten in the morning. Panic wakes me up, and I see a text from Betty. I’m already running late, and she’s probably wondering where I am. I open it while I look for my uniform.
Betty: You don’t need to come in for the next few days. Figure out what’s going on between you and Lachlan. He’s a good one, little girl. Try to keep him, ok? I’ll text you when your next shift is. xxx
I sigh and go back to my side of the bed. I’m amped now because I thought I was late and I don’t know if I’ll be able to go back to sleep. I settle myself back under the covers and turn so my back is to the windows.
My heart is still pounding behind its cage and I take a few deep breaths to calm down. The adrenaline and fatigue kept me from going back to sleep, so I lay there. Lachlan moves, and I focus on him. He’s awake and staring at me with sad, exhausted eyes.
“Hi, love,” he says in that raspy voice I love.
“Hi,” I whisper.
“Do you have to work?” he asks. I move my head back and forth against my pillow.
“Oh,” he says. I long to see the spark in his face. It might not have excitement for the day but maybe fight. The fight isn’t there right now and I hate that. My nose burns, and I scrunch it up and down.
I am so tired of crying. Even the pills don’t keep me from it anymore and it’s driving me crazy. One falls and hits my hand under my head. I blink rapidly and bite down on my tongue. Nothing makes them stop.
Lachlan wraps his strong arm around me and hugs me into his chest. It feels good. He hasn’t done this in so long, and my chest loosens. He sighs, and I wonder if it makes him feel a little better.
I sniffle, but it’s no use as they come harder. “It’s ok, love. Let it out,” Lachlan whispers as he rubs my back. The soothing motion breaks the dam and I choke on the sob that rolls through me.
Lachlan coos and kisses my head as I cry. I know it won’t stop no matter what I do. I place both of my hands on his chest and push him back. He frowns and I force myself to sit up against the headboard and wipe my tears. “They won’t stop, so we might as well get back to work.”
His frown almost feels like judgment, even though I know he’s not because he knows how this feels. He knows it has to come out and I can’t control it. His large palm squeezes my upper thigh, and I place my hand on his, taking a stuttered breath.
“Maybe you should rest,” he says gently. I shake my head no and start to climb off the bed.
