Page 59 of Decoded
Skyla just nods, but she still looks frustrated. “So you’re telling me that he was completely sober on the plane when he kissed you. And still sober when he offered to have you stay with him for the night. He hadn’t had a drop to drink when he told you he wanted to have his way with you. And yet you still think you had to get him drunk to want you?”
I consider what she’s saying. “Well, when you put it that way…”
“Anna, I know that you have insecurities when it comes to your body. I know what people have said and done to belittle you just because you’re bigger. I know because I hear the same things. But the fact is that regardless of your size, regardless of your doubts, that man wants you.
"You are such a fucking catch, Anna Banana, and I wish you could see what Jasmine, Penny and I see. I wish you could seewhat Keaton sees in you. You are funny. You are beautiful. You are smart. You are talented. You are worthy, Anna. You are worthy of the love of a man who wants you so much that he’s in pain every second he’s without you.”
“Then why doesn’t he want to love me anymore?” I ask meekly.
“I don’t know the answer to that. That’s a question you will have to ask him. Hell, he probably has his own self doubts, too. But the fact is that whether he comes to his senses or not, you’re coming out of this with your head held high knowing that anybody out there on this planet, and even the planets beyond, would be complete fools to not see how much you have to offer. And you’re no fool, Anna. So see it inside yourself.”
I nod slowly as I process my friends’ words. Keaton did nothing but praise my body and worship my curves. He never once looked at me like he didn’t desire all that I am. Even if he never looks at me like that again, it’s time I start seeing myself in that way.
“I hear you, Sky. I will try to do better. I’ll try to love myself.”
Chapter forty
Anna
“T
his place is incredible, Anna. Do you really have to leave?”
Skyla and I have managed to explore every inch of the tiny town in the past couple of days, and I am completely convinced she has introduced herself to every single one of the just over a thousand people who inhabit it. I rub my hand over my chest as the ache forms knowing I will no longer be a part of that small number.
“I just don’t see how I can make it work. There’s no way I can continue working for Phisherman’s and in case you didn’t notice, there aren’t a whole lot of employment options around here aside from that. Plus, things with Keaton were going so well that I didn’t even think of starting to look for a place.”
My best friend steps over and gives me a hug I didn’t know I needed. I swear a hug from Skyla is like a beam of sunshine being transferred to your soul. “Thanks, Sky. I needed that.”
When she steps away from me, I see the sparkling gleam of a dream in her eyes. “You know,” she draws out, “this bed and breakfast has a for sale sign on it.”
I raise my eyebrows at her.
“Can’t you just imagine?” She squeals. “We’d be like Lorelei and Sookie with our own inn. The two of us would make this place so stinking cute and you could capture photos of it that will have everyone wanting to visit. Incredible breakfast spreads just like Walter does of French toast, fruit, sausage, and bacon would be available on the weekends, but throughout the week it would be more of a grab and go option. We’d greet people the way Hazel does like we’ve known them all of our lives. What do you think?”
I want to give Skyla the answer she’s looking for. I want to tell her that her dreams sound like possibilities. I want to know that there’s still a place for me here in Cheatham.
“I think neither one of us knows how to cook, so those incredible breakfast spreads aren’t going to happen. And I think that there’s no place for me here in this town without Keaton.” I sink onto the mattress and Skyla comes to sit beside me, a sad, knowing look on her face. She wraps her arms around my shoulders, and I lean over into her, tears beginning to fall.
“I love this town, Sky. But I love him, too. Even if he doesn’t feel that way about me. There’s no way I can be here and risk seeing him every day. There’s no way I can be here knowing that he might move on and fall for some other girl. There’s no way I can be here knowing it was my fault. I’m the reason we’re over. I’m the reason he doesn’t want me anymore.”
My words come out as sobs as she holds me tighter. I bask in the comfort of my friend for a little while longer before I pack up my life and head back to the city.
There’s pounding on my door and I glance over at my phone to check the time. But it’s not just the time I see filling my screen. My last message from Keaton, his damn heart shattering words, are pulled up. I was going to say something to him last night, but the words never came. What was going to fix this mess that I got us into? How was I going to convince him to believe me?
Nobody ever believes me.
The never-ending knock on the other side of the door wasn’t about to allow me my pity party. I don’t know who the fuck would be here at seven in the morning, but clearly they don’t realize I’m currently residing in heartbreak hell.
I climb out of bed, but it’s apparently too slow for the person demanding my presence so early in the morning. A familiar voice calls out.
“Anna Laura, you open this damn door right now.”
Shit.
Why is my dad here?
How does my dad know I’m here?
