Page 34 of Decoded
We drive in silence and it’s killing me inside. I replay every word I said and every action I made to see if I scared her off. Maybe that kiss was too much too soon, but I wasn’t imagining things when she pressed her lips against mine and kissed me back. Before I’m ready to call it a night I’m pulling into the driveway and the girl I am falling so fucking hard for is about to pull away from me again.
“Thanks for bringing me home,” she says, unbuckling her seat belt.
“Well, ya know, it was on the way.” I give her a small smile and am grateful for the one she gives me right back. “Just a sec and I’ll get your door.”
She tries to protest, but I’ve already hopped out and made my way around the truck. I open her door and place my hands on her hips to help guide her out of the tall vehicle. When her feet hit the pavement, I should let go, but I keep my hands where they’re at, not wanting to say goodnight just yet.
She feels so good in my hands. I pull her into me and wrap my arms around her back, hugging her in a way I don’t think I ever have with anyone else. I could stand here all night like this, but instead, I release her, and we walk hand in hand down the stone path to her temporary residence.
“Do you want to come in?” Her beautiful emerald eyes look up at me as she tucks that pouty bottom lip of hers back between her teeth.
Do I want to come in? Yeah. Yeah, I fucking do. But I want her trust and love even more. I want her to know without a doubt that she wants what’s between us to work out. So, I piss my dick off and run my mouth.
“Anna, there is nothing more I want to do than go inside your home with you. I want to push you through that door and kiss you until your lips ache. I’d only give them a reprieve because I want to focus on those tits that have been teasing me all fucking night, spilling out of that top. Once I’ve left bite marks all over the flesh and your nipples are so hard they hurt, I want to undress you so my eyes can explore every beautiful inch of this incredible body. Next, I want to bring you to orgasm by tossing one of your legs over my shoulder and consuming that delicious pussy that’s haunted my memories. And finally, after I’ve gotten you so fucking wet you’ve made a mess of my face and your thighs, I want to sink so fucking deep inside you over and fucking over again until you can’t fucking talk tomorrow because you lost your voice from screaming my name.”
I watch her throat bob as she swallows thickly. She shifts in a motion that has her thighs rubbing together. God why am I being such a dumbass right now?
“But more than any of that Anna. More than the desire I have for your body. I want your heart. I want it so damn bad I’m in physical pain from the ache in my chest. I want you so bad that when I drop you off after work, all I want to do is go to bed and sleep so I can see you in my dreams because any moment I’m not with you is absolutely fucking miserable. I want your pride. I want your trust. I want your love.”
I stare at her openly, letting her see all of me and all that I want to be for her. “And that’s why I can’t come inside tonight, Anna. I need to deserve you. I need you to want this marriage to work. I need you to take a chance on me. A chance on us.” I place my thumb under her chin, tilting her head and placing the softest ofkisses on her cheek. “I can’t have you, Anna, until you’re ready to have all of me. I can’t have you until you love me the way that I love you.”
I didn’t plan on saying those words to her tonight, but I don’t regret letting her know exactly how I feel about her. The only thing I do regret is that speaking those words into existence is making it even fucking harder to walk away from her. Again.
Chapter twenty-four
Anna
M
y feet are frozen to the stone beneath me as I watch Keaton retreat to his house. I’m trying to process
everything he just said.
Keaton loves me.
Me.
The girl who has been told that men who look like him don’t want women who look like me.
Me.
The girl who has been called chubby since her toddler days and then made fun of all through school for being larger than everyone.
Me.
The girl people make stupid bets on as a joke.
Me.
He loves me.
My breaths pick up and my heart pounds inside my chest as I realize that his feelings aren’t one sided. I am so fucking in love with my husband. But he left and as I hear the click of the doorshutting behind him as he enters his mini mansion, it feels like a dagger piercing my heart.
Keaton loves me and I love him and fuck that door for thinking it can stand between us. Stumbling over the stones, I race down the path to his house. When I reach the door, I hesitate for just a second. I’ve never entered his home before, but I suppose there’s no time like the present and there’s no better reason to break in than to tell the man I love just how much he means to me.
Stepping inside, I immediately freeze. Keaton is nowhere to be seen, but holy fucking hell, this place is stunning. I find
myself standing in my absolute dream kitchen. A large island with wooden cabinets and a marble countertop sits in the center with lantern-style lights giving off a soft glow in the middle of the night. Wooden beams are spaced perfectly across the ceiling providing a rustic elegance, which is exactly how I would describe Keaton.
