Page 31 of Wild Side
“I don’t know you anymore. You fucked this girl once, came back, and you’re a different goddamn person. Are you even my brother?”
Betrayal.
It comes in so many different shapes and sizes. I wrap my fingers around the back of Goose’s neck, dropping my forehead to touch his. He feels betrayed, not because I’m not fucking women with him right now, but because I didn’t have a conversation with him about it. It’s not like we fuck one another when we’re with a woman.
“I am part of you, and you are part of me. I need to figure this shit out with Zadie. She’s here for a reason, and I need to figure it all out.”
Goose takes a step back, and my hand slides from his neck. Why does this feel so goddamn emotional? Opening my eyes, I start to ask him that, but I don’t get the chance. He leans forward slightly, his eyes narrowing on mine, and that hurt has shifted to anger once again.
“You figure your shit out,” he spits.
Then, without another word, he walks past me, checking my shoulder with his as he does. As much as I want to be pissed at him, I know this is just because of the changes. The ones in me, the ones in us, the ones in this new journey. Whatever the fuck is coming our way, nothing is the same as it was three months ago, and nothing ever will be.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
MAVERICK
I don’t leavethe room after him. I want to, but I don’t. He’s right. I have changed. Something inside me has changed, and I don’t know what the outcome is going to be, but I also don’t think we’ll ever go back to the way it was. I don’t feel like the same person.
When I finally walk out of the room, I step into the bar area and look around. I’m not sure what I expect to find, but I’m hoping that it isn’t Zadie anywhere near any of my brothers. The music is loud, the booze is flowing, and hazy smoke fills the air around me.
Women are naked, and there is ample sucking and fucking. The men are celebrating. We’ve changed the trajectory of our lives. We’re taking a huge fucking leap, and that’s something to celebrate, at least that’s how I feel.
I’m not sure if everyone else feels the same way. I think that maybe it’s a mixture of fear and elation.
Whatever they need to make it to tomorrow when we begin implementing this shit, I’m good with it. However, I am not goodwith my pregnant woman joining in. Sheismine. Don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but for right now—she’s mine.
Moving through the bar, I make my way toward the kitchen. I can’t imagine she’s still in there. When I peek my head inside, my suspicions are confirmed.
It’s empty.
I walk back into the bar and scan it again, unsure of where to search for her. I can feel the weight of her keys in my pocket, so I know she didn’t leave.
“She walked out the back door,” Shocker announces from his position at the end of the bar.
Turning my head, I look over at him, arching a brow. I watch him for a moment, and then he clears his throat, his eyes searching mine. I can tell he has something else to say, and as our old-timer, he has been handing out advice lately like they’re joints.
“You got something else?” I ask when he doesn’t continue.
Shocker clears his throat again, shifting around on his chair a couple of times before he finally does speak. “You gotta take care of what’s yours, Mav. Your brother’ll come around. He loves you, and you’re good to each other. But that don’t mean shit has to always stay status quo.”
He’s right. It doesn’t. But that also doesn’t mean that my undergoing a complete personality shift without a single word doesn’t hurt. I keep putting myself in his shoes, and it’s fucked up. I’m fucked up. I know I am, but I also want to find her. I need to see her.
“He might. He might not,” I mutter.
Shocker shrugs a shoulder. “He will, and if he won’t, then I’m not sure what that means.”
“It means sharing a womb, being best friends our entire lives, but he doesn’t really know me, and I’m pretty sure that’s more fucked than anything I could do to him.”
Shocker smirks as his eyes search mine. “Then you need to go out back where your girl is. She’s waitin’ for you.”
I wrap my fingers around his shoulder and give him a gentle shake before I move toward the back hallway that spills out to the back of the building. Staying quiet, I step outside. I see her immediately. She’s leaning against the building, looking in the opposite direction.
Taking a cigarette and a lighter out of my pocket, I light my cigarette before I move closer to her. She turns her head slowly, her eyes finding mine. She looks scared and upset. I hate myself instantly because I’m the reason she looks that way.
“I couldn’t stay in the kitchen any longer, and the bar didn’t look like it was anywhere I needed to be.” Her voice sounds timid. “And you have my keys, so I can’t go to the motel.”
“You were going to just up and leave?”
