Page 40 of Elemental Hall: Nautica
“Maybe, maybe not.” I keep from committing to a possibility, mostly because I suspect that Orion will run off and attack anyone I pick. I don’t want him getting into that kind of trouble over me.
I’m surprised that he’s even prepared to. I know we kissed, but it isn’t as if anything has happened since then. We’re back in our fake relationship groove. I’mnotthe person Orion should be getting expelled over.
“Did you carry me all the way back from the pool?” I ask, trying to distract him from thoughts of vengeance.
“I had to get you to a healer as quickly as possible,” Orion says.
“How did you even find me?” There’s no way that Orion should have been there to save me. No way he could have known the trouble I would be in.
“Cara told me about the challenge you’d been given. She knew that the Green Tower Pool was dangerous, but not why. I’d heard about the kraken. I knew that I had to help.”
“What if our teachershadsent me to face down a kraken?” I ask. “It’s not as if the challenges they set are exactly safe.”
“I thought that they might have done this,” Orion says. “I was angry with them. I thought Elemental Mistress Halan might just be determined to test you to destruction.”
And he was ready to pick an argument with one of the most powerful figures at the academy on my behalf? I’m not sure that I’m comfortable with that. It’s too much. I know that he’s pretending to be my boyfriend. I know that things have gone astep further now that we’ve kissed, but I… I’m not comfortable with that.
I’m not comfortable with any of it. Not with being stuck in a fake relationship that exists only because it’s convenient for both of us. Not with being stuck in a strange halfway place where neither of us wants to go further, and we’re both caught up playing a part.
“Orion, why did you come to save me?” I ask.
Orion looks puzzled. “What kind of question is that? You’re my friend, and I—”
“Your friend?” I say. “Is that all?”
Orion doesn’t seem comfortable now. He takes a step away from the bed. “Look, Sera, if this is about our arrangement, I—”
“I kissed Darius.” I don’t know why I blurt it out like that so suddenly and abruptly. It’s the kind of thing that, if we were in a real relationship, might hurt Orion deeply. I don’t want to hurt him, though. I just want to try to find a way to make things simpler between us.
“Why are you telling me that?” Orion asks, his expression wary.
“Because I need you to know. Darius and I… well, thereisn’tanything right now, but I want there to be. It’s been building up since he arrived here, and when we rescued him after the Umbrans trapped him in that sea cave, I kissed him.”
“But you didn’t tell me at the time?” Orion says.
“Because I was worried that it might make things too complicated. That it might hurt you. That it might mess everything up here.”
“But you’re telling me now?” He clearly doesn’t understand. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure ifIunderstand why I’m doing this now, only that I need to do it. I came close to dying, and I’m grateful that Orion saved me, but that’s all that seems to bebetween us: some complex web of gratitude and practical need. I’m attracted to him, but it isn’t enough.
“Orion, you asked me to pretend to be your girlfriend because you knew that nothing was ever going to happen between us,” I say. “And that’s fine. It was good for both of us, but now… I can’t pretend that I feel nothing for Darius. I can’t go around playing at being with you when it’shimI want to be with.”
Orion stands there for a few seconds. I’m not sure how he’s going to react. I’m not sure how Iwanthim to react. Should he be angry? Should he declare some hidden love for me? All of it seems both too dramatic and too childish to want.
Instead, Orion’s expression stills as he gives me a steady look.
“I understand, Sera.”
“You do?” That catches me off guard.
He nods. “I’ve spent my time trying to avoid an arranged marriage, trying to be free to do what I want. I can hardly blame you for wanting the same kind of freedom. I’ll admit, I don’t get what you see in a guy like Darius, but that isn’t the point, is it? If you want to be with him, then I don’t get to hold you back for the sake of a relationship that was never real.”
He’s taking this much better than I thought he might.
“You’re a great friend, Orion,” I say. “You’ve done a lot for me. You brought me into a group when I would have been alone otherwise. You saved my life back with the kraken. I don’t want to lose that, but I can’t keep pretending that I don’t feel anything when it comes to Darius.”
“You’re not losing anything,” Orion assures me.
“Are you going to be okay?”
