Page 32 of Ringmaster
I fight to look confused instead of terrified, even though my pulse betrays me. I say absolutely nothing, knowing he hasn’t actually asked me a direct question that warrants an answer. This one’s only rhetorical.
“So nice of you to disobey me and risk everything.” Spit clings to his lips as he seethes.
I gulp. Did someone tell him about me and Azrael last night?
“What were you thinking?”
I still say nothing.
“Answer me!” he shouts. “What were you doing sneaking into the circus last night?”
Lie. Lie. Lie,I warn myself while doing my best not to react. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was here, sleeping in my bed.”
“Liar,” he accuses, his tone vengeful. “One of my co-workers saw you. Do you know that your little stunt cost me? Yeah, I had to bribe him to keep quiet about it all. You’re going to pay back every bit of what I lost.”
“Why would I disobey you? Maybe your co-worker was exploiting you, whether you’re actually stupid enough to believe him and pay up. How much bragging have you been doing about selling me off?”
It’s risky, but not the first time I’ve snapped back to defend myself. No good will come from this, but maybe he’ll take the bait and second-guess himself. All I can do is hope.
He growls in frustration, turning on my mother. “This is all your fault. You don’t keep tabs on her enough. If the buyer finds out, the entire arrangement will be called off.”
My mother says nothing, but I know she’ll spend countless nights paying for this. My heart breaks. It’s all my fault. I should’ve been more careful.
“I’ve spent years waiting for the perfect offer—someone to pay me what she’s worth—and I’ll be damned if either of yousabotage this for me.” He pauses, but only long enough to think up a solution to his problem. “She’s not to leave your sight. No more trips to the market. No visits with Miriam and Tavien. She doesn’t leave this house until her wedding day.”
Everything inside of me shatters. I refuse to be caged. He can’t do this. He can’t keep me here. He’s not even my father. Something inside of me snaps.
There’s a burst of light—
And then silence.
Time freezes around me. No one moves. I wiggle a finger, then circle the table, testing it. I wave my hand in front of my father’s face, then my mother’s. No response. I snap my fingers. Still nothing.
“I hate you,” I whisper. “You’re not my real father.” When all I’m met with is silence again, I hurl a few more insults his way. “You don’t deserve to be a human. I hope you pay for every awful thing you’ve ever done. My mother deserved better than the likes of you.” The air around me reverberates, then settles.
I turn to my mother. “I love you. I promise I’ll find a way to save us both. But I won’t marry anyone who wants to buy me from him. They’d have to be just as vile as he is.” I kiss her cheek. It shocks me, making the hair on my body stand on end.
Cautiously, I tiptoe out of the kitchen to look outside. I wonder if the entire town is frozen? What if Azrael is frozen? Althoughsomething inside of me whispers,You know he’s not. You know he’s different.I spot Arthur Whippleton—my-not-father’s boss—frozen mid-stride in the street. He’s probably the one who snitched on me. This is bad. This is terrible. The entire street seems frozen in time.
I stumble back to the kitchen in shock, making sure my parents are still frozen. No change.Did I do this?Who am I kidding—of course I did. Unless it was Azrael. Did he somehow know I needed him? My thoughts trail off as I turn my hands over, studying them from every angle.Did I really do this?If I can control it, I don’t want to unfreeze them. Well—my mother, but not him. A small voice whispers in my mind: You probably can’t unfreeze one without the other. And the town can’t stay frozen forever. I should walk to the circus. If our street is like this, maybe the whole town is too.
Azrael told me not to return to the circus, last time. He said it wasn’t safe. But who else can I tell? What am I supposed to do now that everything’s changed? Panic rises inside me and my throat suddenly feels dry, making it hard to breathe. I pour a glass of water and sip, trying to calm the rising tide as I assess the situation.
Pacing helps. A little. I try to think of a plan. He can’t trap me here. He’s kept me caged long enough—and the horrors I’ve endured at his hands. I shudder, not willing to relive the secrets I keep buried. They belong locked away. But there’s no escaping the truth. The only path forward leads to Azrael. I’ll have to apologize for coming back, and then confess what I’ve done. And if there’s no other choice—maybe I can join the circus and disappear as Mercy forever. A pang of guilt hits me hard. Whatif I never speak to my mother again? What if this thing I’ve done can’t be undone? Tears fill my eyes, threatening to escape.
“I will not cry,” I whisper to myself.
With one last look at him—the man who raised me in shadows and shame—I hug my mother, holding her as tightly as I can. “I promise I’ll come back for you.”
Before I leave, I slip into her room and select one of her shawls,draping it over me like a disguise. There’s still some fading light outside. The sky is filled with dusty pinks and purples. Birds chirp goodnight songs and a silence begins to settle. Gone are the sounds of children playing. The town feels empty—and it’s a good thing, because I can’t risk being seen. But there’s nothing left to lose.
Slinking through the streets, I make my way as stealthily as possible to the big top, where the large iron gate looms—locked and waiting. I slip through, but this time, when I touch the iron, it sizzles, burning into my skin. Pain sears through me. I bite down on my lip hard to keep from screaming—only a low, pitiful groan slips out. Clutching my throbbing hand to my chest, I look back over my shoulder at the gate but I don’t linger. I won’t risk getting caught. I can’t risk causing problems for Azrael. I wander silently through the empty circus grounds, hiding in the shadows.
Under the cover of a shadowy alcove, I crouch behind an empty popcorn stand. I don’t know where to go, or how to find him. Last time I got lucky, running into Sylis. If I can’t find Azrael…maybe I can find Zora. I remember the way Sylis walked—the path he took when he led me to her boxcar along the edge of the forest. I take a deep breath. I can do this. I just have to walk all the way past the big top, the giant barn-shaped building, and then scattered boxcars. Then the path begins.Easy peasy,I lie to myself.
Before I emerge from my hiding spot, I look in every direction, aiming for a trash bin a short distance away. When I’m certain no one is around, I make a silent sprint for my next hiding spot.
Success.
