Page 103 of Ringmaster
His thoughts cut through mine.Close your eyes, and think of us together. Can you see me?
I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to picture Azrael. I can feel him waiting, just out of reach. I picture him tall and dangerous. Wings spread wide, dark and menacing. Shadows curling around his silhouette. Icy blue eyes sparkling in the darknessI’ve created for us. His chest bare, the faint light dancing across his muscular stomach. My eyes follow each ridge and ripple, dipping lower until I’m descending the hard V leading to the waistband of his fighting leathers. But I don’t stop there—the bulging outline of his hardness is impossible to miss, and I follow its trail greedily.
He smiles at me seductively, like a predator assessing his prey. His milky white teeth should terrify me, but I’d lick the blood of his enemies from them just to prove I’m not afraid. He may be a monster, but that’s not what I see. I imagined him this way because I love the thrill of his dangerous strength. I crave the protection of the predator poised to hunt and kill for me. I savor the feel of the hard lines of his body burning beneath my fingertips after years of denial. But more than anything, I find comfort in the feel of his wings wrapped around me. The sight of his massive shadow-soft feathers, drenched in darkness and riddled with bone, sends my heart into a pounding tizzy. When I look at him—determined to destroy anyone who might seek to harm me—my body doesn’t stand a chance.
It sings for him in answer. A siren’s song, begging him to claim me beneath his hot flesh and wings. I’ll eagerly bend for him, ready to beg for the salvation that only he can provide—the pleasure I feel when I’m with him.
I can see you,I finally answer.
Good, I can see you too.His voice is husky with desire.
I take a step forward, yearning to touch him, overwhelmed with the need to be closer still. I blink—and his arms are around me. It’s like he’s actually touching me. Everything feels so real.
Is this—I start to ask, afraid to finish my question.
It’s as real as we make it. But is it actually real? No,he answers.
But why? We have to… you know… in front of everyone.Even in the dreamscape my cheeks flush with embarrassment.
Because if you stay here with me, you won’t have to suffer through the trauma and humiliation of performing in front of my family,he confesses.
I look up at him, so brave and strong. If he can be fearsome for me and my protector, then I can be the same for him. I won’t cheapen our mating ceremony for the sake of comfort. Iwillperform my duties as his soulmate. If I am truly to be worthy, then who am I to deny him this rite of passage?
You do not need to protect me from this, Azrael. It’s not the first time I’ve been forced to perform. Only this time, I’ll enjoy it—because I’ll be with you. All I need is you by my side, guiding me, loving me, and giving me the strength to be as worthy of your love as you are of mine.
He scoops me into a hug, spinning me around.You’re worthy of my love already, angel. And when in doubt, look at these.He points to the lily on my shoulder, and then squeezes my inked hand.
Azrael places me back on the ground, cupping my face.As for this not being the first time you’ve been forced to perform publicly—let’s not speak of that again, unless you wish to be personally responsible for a massacre of the humans.
I nod, feeling the anger simmering in him, barely contained.I promise.
Kiss me then, and seal your promise,he challenges.
Pressing up on my toes, I allow my lips to hover close to his for a moment before brushing against them in the gentlest kiss. When I start to pull back, his hands—one tangled in my hair, the other firm around my waist—drag me into a deeper, more passionate kiss.
Greedy,I tease.
Yes,he answers, breathless.
Impatient.
Always,he groans.
Mine.My hand presses against his chest.
Yours.His knuckles graze my jaw.
You must return us now to the realm, so that I can claim you.His voice wavers, heavy with guilt.
I start to unimagine him, convincing myself I am alone, watching as he fades to nothing. When I’m ready, I ground myself in the real world. The smell of the castle, the feel of the throne, my breathing steady and controlled. Slowly, I blink my eyes open to find his brothers still gathered, watching and waiting.
Azrael slides into my mind one last time.I’m sorry, my love. If I ever hurt you with word or deed, I’ll never forgive myself. You’re strong—and together, we’ll overcome this.
I forgive you. If you hurt me, it’s only because you’re protecting me,I answer, my voice soft and gentle.
I don’t want them to interrupt—to try to steal you away from me. I know you don’t understand the strange traditions of my world. If I appear weak, if they deem me unworthy, they can invoke the oldest laws and challenge me for my mate. The bond is weakest now, in its infancy. I won’t risk it. I won’t lose you—not after it took me so long to find you.His confession sends my thoughts spiraling.
Then do whatever must be done to protect our bond. I refuse to lose you, Azrael. You think you’re a monster, but you’re my savior. You’ve been my safe space, my comfort—for years. I will not allow your brothers to simply swoop in and steal me from you. I will never stop proving myself worthy.I lift my chin, adjusting in the throne, head high.
