I didn’t stop, though.
I walked to the old staircase, and began to climb, my hands clasped in front of me. Instinctively almost, I didn’t touch anything, even though I wanted to cling to the banister, to use it to drag myself up each stair, one at a time. It took every ounce of my remaining strength to get myself up there without stopping, without touching any of it.
I felt Caelum following, but he didn’t call out to me again.
He didn’t door say anything until I opened my brother’s bedroom door. Then he grabbed my arm from behind, and whispered by my ear.
“Just check that he’s all right,” he hissed. “That’s all.”
“I want to wake him up,” I whispered back. “I want to talk to him, to explain?”
“Explain what?” he snapped. “You’re covered in fucking blood. You want to explainthatto your little brother? Now? When the Praecuri are probably already on their way?”
I stopped at that.
Briefly, I just stood there, and mentally blinked.
I’d known it was blood. Looking up at him in the dark, I could see even more of it on him. His hair was dark with it, as was his face, now that I stared into it. The thought made me queasy. Mymind told me that was ridiculous. I’d known it was blood, that it was my aunt’s blood, that my aunt was dead. I’d known all those things.
My logical mind also told me I was probably in shock.
My heart thudded in my chest. My breathing sounded odd, and hurt a little.
I was coherent enough to know I was grateful.
I was really, really grateful, and not only for myself.
If I wasn’t shaking with adrenaline, covered with gore, and probably in shock, I might have hugged him.
“I’ll just look at him,” I said, looking up to meet Caelum’s gaze.
He studied my eyes behind that mask of blood, his still glowing faintly with shimmering, liquid light. Slowly, he nodded, and released my arm. His hand left more blood on my skin.
I walked into my brother’s room.
It was so strange being in there. So much of it even looked the same.
But then it would, wouldn’t it? It had only been a few months.
Barely half a year.
He still had the dragon poster on his wall that I’d given him, and the shelves stuffed with books and small figurines. The patchwork quilt that covered him had come with the house, as had the wooden chest at the foot of his bed, and the giant, antique-looking desk.
He’d brought some of my things into his room in the past few months. My stuffed animals and a few plastic horses I’d had since I was younger than him found their way onto his shelves. A few of my books lay on the floor, surrounded by mechanical dinosaurs and aDungeons and Dragonsmanual he’d left open on the rug.
I walked to his bed, and looked down at his soft face.
I listened until I was positive I heard him breathing.
His nose wrinkled when I still didn’t move, and he flinched, almost like he smelled me there, or smelled the blood on me, maybe, but he didn’t open his eyes.
“Leda!” Caelum whispered.
My jaw slowly clenched.
I knew he was right.
I knew he was right.