Page 74 of Home Field Advantage
And Nan is hosting a winter party at Seven Stools.
Griffin allowed that?
Blair
What can I say? He’s a changed man.
Lily
Please, Poppy. We really want you to come.
Absolutely not. You know I don’t like going out like that. Besides, I’m busy tomorrow night.
Blair
Come on. The whole town will be there.
And that’s what I fear.
Lily
The parents of students don’t care if you have a life outside of teaching. The other teachers are always there, and no one bats an eye.
Fine. But I’m driving to avoid you setting me up with a ride home again, and I’m not staying long.
CHAPTER 19
I’M NOT MOST GUYS.
Poppy
My head’s been a mess of emotions since Lily texted me about this party tonight at Seven Stools.
I donotwant to go.
I agreed to go just to end the conversation. Neither Lily nor Blair understand what I go through because I haven’t allowed myself to open up to anyone other than my therapist about how my brain works.
I love my sister. She’s been my best friend all my life, and I hate that I can’t allow myself to open up to her about who I am. I should be unapologetic about my life. I should be able to discuss it openly without fear of judgment. She’s my sister. So she can’t judge me for it. Except the little voice in my head screams,pleasedon’t do it.
It’s a terrifying feeling to be vulnerable with someone. It feels like standing in front of them without the usual armor you wear to protect yourself. There’s no mask. No rehearsed lines. No shield. It’s raw and exposed. It’s not knowing if the other person will hold whatever you say gently or crush it.
Deep down, I knew Lily made a good point about other teachers going out all the time. She always makes valid points.My struggle is allowing my brain to catch up that it’s okay to allow myself to get out and enjoy myself outside of being a teacher.
Sometimes I wonder who that even is.
Oh wait, I know. The girl who organizes her spice cabinet three times a week and loses it when things don’t go as planned.
I groan out loud in my kitchen, swiping my grocery list off the counter. It’s almost nine in the morning, which is the time I always go to the General Store for my weekly trip.
But as soon as I open my front door, I see that the storm hit overnight harder than expected. My car is covered in a thick layer of snow to the point that all you can see is the outline of it. Not a single part of my car is visible. I’ve been so stuck in my thoughts that I didn’t even notice the weather outside the window this morning.
And it’sstillcoming down.
Attempting to take a calming breath, I dig through my closet and find my snow shovel tucked away in the back corner next to my brush to clean off the car. I grab my jacket, and when I swing it around my body to put it on, the hood gets caught on the doorknob. Emotions bubble to the surface because when you’re already on the verge of freaking out that something isn’t going to plan, one minor inconvenience is enough to tip you right over the edge.
Normal people would have closed the front door, put on a comfortable pair of sweatpants, and settled into the couch with a good book and called it a day. A sign from the universe saying,yeah, you’re not going to the store today.
Not me.
