Page 45 of Home Field Advantage
Sage thinks about it for a second and shrugs. “Sure.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” I deadpan.
Lily nudges my side. “So…you’re the guy who moved next door to my sister.”
“I am.”
“She told me.”
“She did?”
Lily nods, and then silence stretches between us before she leaves my side to go grab water.
I want to ask more, but what? I don’t even know how I’m feeling about the whole thing. I’m struggling to wrap my head around the fact that I’m really attracted to her, but she’s also my daughter’s teacher.
Does that make her off-limits?
This urge comes over me that Ineedto talk to her.
And it needs to happen tonight.
I haven’t had a sip of alcohol tonight, but my judgment is a cloudy mess.
Which perfectly describes my life. I’ve just been a string of fuck-ups, one after another.
Which has me wondering if my pull to bring baseball into Bluestone Lakes is driven by my need to fix all the things I’ve screwed up. Baseball has brought a lot of good into my life, but it’s also been the reason a lot of other things in my life have crumbled.
If I do this, I would be setting a team up for the town to have long after I leave.
But it would also give me a reason to come back here every sooften.
Maybe to see Poppy.
But what would I do if I came back here in a few months and she had a boyfriend? How would that make me feel? My fists tighten around my steering wheel because I can’t stand the thought of that. Not that I have a right to feel this way.
After questioning myself if she’s off-limits or not, I realized that whatever chemistry I felt with Poppy needs to stay stuffed down. These thoughts I’ve been having need to get the fuck out of my head to avoid issues for Sage at school. The one thing I don’t want to screw up any more than I already have is Sage.
When I turn onto my street, I realize the radio has been off the entire ride home, and the quiet hits me hard. Sage fell asleep almost immediately after putting her in the car. It feels like the world is holding its breath with me when I slow down and stare at Poppy’s house as I drive by. Her porch light casts a yellow glow, begging me to step up and knock on the door to make things feel normal again.
Begging me to clear the air and get ahead of any weird feelings.
Begging me to lay my eyes on her again.
Pulling into my driveway, I throw the car into park. I inhale and exhale before letting the freezing air hit my lungs. I stand there, staring across the yard at her place as my breath makes a cloud of smoke in front of me. I should talk to her tonight. Otherwise, I won’t be getting any sleep.
Picking Sage up, she barely stirs when I bring her inside. It was a struggle to keep her awake long enough to brush her teeth. But she did it and had her eyes closed again the minute her head hit the pillow.
Staring down at my daughter, I brush her hair away from her face and lean in to press a kiss to her forehead. “I love you, bug.”
Pacing my living room, I question if I should go and talk to Poppy quickly. I check the camera app on my phone to make sure it’s connected in case Sage wakes up and needs me. I don’t plan to be gone long, and will be right outside the house.
Making my way across the yard, my stomach swirls, and mypalms feel sweaty as I step onto her porch. Her house is the complete opposite of mine. It resembles a cottage-style house with white siding, a white picket fence, and a colorful assortment of floral baskets hanging under the front window.
Lifting my hand to knock, I pause.
Just knock. Don’t make this weird.
Maybe this is a bad idea? I shouldn’t be here right now. I should leave and go home. I don’t need to talk to her, get to know her, or smooth things over. I step back, staring at her door again before turning on my heel and retreating down the steps.
