Page 29 of Home Field Advantage
I shake my head. “No, I’ll be coaching here.”
“Whoa, whoa.”
Tyler answers, moving each of their faces into two boxes. “You coming back, coach?”
“No,” Mitch answers for me. “He’s coaching there. I’m waiting for him to tell me what the hell is going on.”
I sigh. “You’re the only two who aren’t allowed to judge me for my rash decisions. But the day we got here, we met Nan, who gave us the keys to the place. Two boys went running past us, nearly knocking me over. And Nan mentioned how they don’t have a team and need a coach. I said yes almost instantly.”
“You? Coaching kids?” Mitch scoffs.
I laugh. “It’s no different than coaching you two.”
“I take offense to that.” Mitch feigns hurt. “Tyler is the child of the group.”
“I’m still stuck on the part with the woman named Nan,” Tyler chimes in.
“See?” Mitch laughs. “But to remain serious here, weren’t you supposed to be there to get your shit together? You know, take a break from baseball?”
He’s right.
The more I think about it, the more I question if I made a mistake.
Baseball has never been just a game or sport for me. It’s something that makes dreams feel real, where things make sense. Standing on the pitcher’s mound, rounding the bases, holding a bat in my hand, all of it makes me feel like me. It was my safe place to land when the world around me was unsteady. I don’t know what the family life of the kids here in town looks like, but I know what mine looked like.
A father who died when I was young, and a mother who bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend. I had to practically raise myself as an only child because she was never around.
Baseball was all I fucking had.
Mitch and Tyler know this. I’m not about to dig up emotional trauma on this video call, though.
“It’s kids. It’s not professional baseball, and it’s something to keep me busy here.”
They both remain quiet.
“What?”
“It’s just…” Mitch pauses, releasing a long, drawn-out sigh. “You’re coming back, right?”
I don’t even have to think when I reply, “I’m coming back to San Francisco. Yes. What I do when I get back is still up in the air.”
“Okay, no more serious shit. One, you’re going to be an awesome coach for those kids. Two, have you met anyone yet?”
Mitch rolls his eyes. “Real slick with the question that’s been plaguing you.”
“I’m looking out for his needs.”
I laugh. “If you must know, I met someone. But before you even ask…no, it’s not anything serious. Obviously. We just had a drink together. And I won’t be answering any more questions about it.”
That’s a lie. Or is it?
It’s not a thing, but it didn’t end up being nothing, at least not to me. Since that unexpected night at the bar over the weekend, I’ve been unable to shake off thoughts of her. I’ve found myself at the coffee shop every morning since then, hoping I run into her just for a chance to say even a few words to her—an opportunity to see a smile on her face.
What the hell has gotten into me? I find myself in a state of confusion, trying to make sense of these newfound feelings. Hence, asking them not to press me for more questions.
“Hell yeah.” Tyler fist bumps the phone.
I hear the school bell chime, and they must hear it too. “Are you at the school?” Mitch asks.
