Page 3 of Home Field Advantage
“I haven’t been at my best, and the team deserves better.”
He shakes his head. “Could you use some work? Sure. We all could. But youarethe best, even though I know you struggle to believe that.”
This time, I don’t respond. I assess his features, searching for the lie, to see if he’s sugar-coating something with me for the first time. The fine lines and wrinkles from his old age show nothing.
“I appreciate that,” I finally say, choking out the words.
“And I want you to understand I’m not here to fire you,” he says.
My eyebrows knit in confusion.
“I’m offering you a break because I know when one is necessary. You have what it takes to coach this team, but you never had the chance to get over how your career ended. And that’s on me. I didn’t want to lose you, so I pushed you into this position before you were ready.”
My stomach flips, and I feel like I want to throw up right at his feet, while simultaneously wanting to kiss him for this chance. “What does this mean?”
“Coach James will take over for the offseason training. We can figure out what to tell the press. I want you to take some time to focus on yourself and get your shit together. We can figure out your next steps after that. No decision has to be made right this second, and I won’t allow you to make another impulsive one for the sake of keeping this team in your life.”
This is…unexpected.
“Thank you, sir.”
“First, stop calling me sir,” he warns with a finger to my face. “Second, you got this. I know you do. There will be no more strikeouts. Only home runs from here on out.”
I let his final words settle as my shoulders relax.
No more strikeouts, only home runs.
The words have more meaning than just baseball, and the both of us know it. Everything in my life is just a never-ending streak of strikeouts. I don’t intend for it to be that way, but like he said…I need to take the time to focus on myself for once. I wish I could tell him right now I’ll take the offseason to get my head on straight and come back stronger, but that would be impulsive. That could potentially just lead to another situation like this, but worse.
“Thank you, Clark.” I nod, swallowing past the emotions. “Mostly for never giving up on me.”
“Never,” he says, offering me a grin and a firm handshake before walking away.
My eyes stay stuck on him as I try to force myself to believe everything he just said.
That it’s not a dream.
That I’m not fired, but instead given a second chance.
“I think I saw your daughter roaming around the family waiting area outside the locker room,” he says, just as he’s aboutto leave my office. “You better go get that sweet girl.” And then he walks away.
Inhaling and exhaling one more time, I exit into the long hallway that leads from the locker room to where the families gather after games.
“Daddy!”
Snapping my head toward the small voice, I crouch down quickly as my daughter leaps into my arms. A full smile fills my face as she wraps her arms around my neck, burrowing her head into my neck.
“Hey, bug.” I laugh.
She pulls back, keeping her arms around my neck. “I’m sorry your team didn’t win, Daddy.” She wrinkles her nose as if disgusted by the game’s outcome.
I mess her hair with my hand. “It’s all good,” I lie, refusing to let my emotions show in front of her. “Where’s your mom?”
“Right over there.” She turns to point where April, my ex-wife, stands with one shoulder against the wall at a safe distance to allow us this little moment, as if she knew Sage was precisely what I needed. Once our eyes meet, she presses off the wall and approaches us with a sympathetic smile on their face.
“Hey. I’m sorry about the game,” she says.
I shrug a shoulder, trying not to let her know how much it’s already affected me in the short time since it’s been over.
