Page 147 of Home Field Advantage
We both make our way into his office, and I take the seat across from his desk. My palms feel sweaty because even with all those thoughts and revelations since coming back to this stadium, I still don’t fucking know what I’m doing here.
“Thanks for coming out here for this meeting. I know we’re supposed to meet with the board today, but they had another meeting set up at the same time. I also figured you’d be better off with just me.”
I nod.
“First things first, how was your time off?”
“It was…exactly what I needed.”
He grins, because this was partly his idea, too. “That’s good to hear. Did you find ways to keep yourself busy?”
“I did. My sole focus was Sage, of course. I never had the chance to be a primary parent for her, and it was nice to get that opportunity. She loves it in Bluestone Lakes.”
“Do you?”
I swallow, because how do I tell the man who changedmylife that the town I found online did the same thing in the short time I was there?
I lean forward, clasping my hands together and resting my elbows on my knees. “I’m going to be straight up with you, sir. When I left here months ago, I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t like the idea of a break, even though everyone told me I should. You know better than anyone else that baseball has always been my life. To the point that I put it before everything. My marriage. My daughter.” I swallow past the emotions sitting thick in mythroat. “And myself. Leaving all of this behind to go to a small town changed everything.”
Clark sits there, shock written all over his face because he didn’t expect any of that. Hell, I didn’t either. His features eventually soften, and I see the corner of his lips twist into a grin.
“That’s all I ever wanted for you.”
“Huh?”
“Since the day I met you, you’ve been this incredible baseball player. I knew you would make it to the big leagues. I never thought I’d get to witness it and continue to work with you.” He laughs lightly. “But it’s been an honor. However, you’ve always been known for being a little reckless and impulsive. It’s why I refused to hear an answer the day we lost that game. I didn’t want you to keep jumping into something if it wasn’t making you happy. I knew deep down it wasn’t, even though you had baseball as the head coach, it wasn’t making you happy, son.”
“I don’t know what this means going forward.”
“It means whatever you want it to mean. You’ve clearly thought about this for a while now. And reading your face at this moment, you still don’t have an answer.” He pauses, and I remain silent. “Which tells me everything I need to know.”
He’s right.
Fuck, he’s right.
I can’t come up with a decision because there’s a part of me that feels like I’ll be letting my team, Clark, and my friends down. But the other part of me knows that my heart is stuck in Bluestone Lakes. It’s found a home in the people there, the town, the scenery. All of it.
“I can’t see myself here anymore,” I tell him honestly.
He smiles, and this time it’s laced with a profound feeling of him being proud of me. My heart hammers in my chest, and I know deep down that this is the right decision for me.
“I’ve always just wanted you to be happy, Dallas.”
His words hit me like a brick to the face, because I can’t remember the last time I ever considered my own happiness inany choice that’s been presented to me. I’ve been selfish in many of my decisions, but I never stopped to think about what would truly make me happy in the long run.
With that in mind, I can’t help but think of Poppy.
I know deep down that happiness doesn’t live in another person. You can’t just hand someone all the broken pieces of yourself and expect them to make it whole. That’s not love, it’s dependency dressed up in romance.
But there’s something to be said about having the right person beside you.
Someone who sees you.
Not because that person or place is your happiness, but because they remind you that it’s still possible. It’s not that Poppy makes me happy, but with her, she sticks around and makes everything feel lighter.
She stays.
“Then I think it’s time for me to go back to Bluestone Lakes,” I finally tell Clark.
