Page 144 of Home Field Advantage
“Huh?”
“The first night I showed up here…you said the same thing.”
I have to think about his words for a moment, because I remember him showing up here, but I don’t recall what I said. The fact thathedoes makes my heart thump in my chest.
He doesn’t continue, and I don’t know what to say.
Something is up.
“This would be a hell of a lot easier if you weren’t you.” He steps toward me, crossing through the front door and into my house. “I knew after first seeing you at the coffee shop that I wanted to get to know you more.”
I stand there, shocked, as recognition hits me right in the face.
It’s all the things he said to me the first night he showed up at my doorstep.
“My thoughts of you are still very unprofessional.” He laughs, taking a hand and cupping my face. “Istillhaven’t been able to stop thinking about you since the day I moved here.”
I close my eyes, letting his words flow through my head.
“Ring a bell?”
I nod, unable to speak because all the old feelings I’ve had are coming rushing back. This feels like an end. It feels like he’s ready to pull the rug from under me and pop the bubble of happiness I’ve found myself wrapped in.
He’s leaving. He’s saying goodbye,and that’s the only thought I’m thinking.
Then his lips are on mine. Slow, as if he’s committing me to memory like it’s the last time his lips will ever be on mine. He pulls back too quickly, resting his forehead on mine.
“Can you do something for me?”
I swallow. “Yeah.”
“Tell me to stay, Poppy. Tell me to make this my home for good.”
Emotions are thick in my throat as each word comes from his mouth. I’d give anything to make him stay, but I can’t do that. As much as it breaks my heart to admit, I can’t be the reason he gives up a part of his life.
Because I know that if he does stay, it will be for me.
So I stay quiet, not giving him the answer he’s looking for—that I’m begging to tell him.
Instead, I wrap my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek to his chest to hide the tears that are fighting to break free. His chin rests on the top of my head as he holds me back. Neither of us moves from this spot for what feels like hours. A cool breeze sweeps through my open door, pulling us apart.
“I have to get home to pack, I have to get on the road early.”
I nod, it’s all I can will myself to do, even when there are a dozen questions I want to ask.
My brain is screaming to tell him to stay.
Please, stay.
But the words don’t come out. Nothing does.
He tips his chin, leaning down for one more long, drawn-out kiss. I let him, welcome it. Even if it means it’s the last one I’ll have.
“Good night, honey.”
And then he turns on his heel, making his way across the lawn.
Closing the door, I let my back fall against it, sliding down and tucking my legs up to my chest, and I cry until my eyes finally close and I fall asleep.
