Page 106 of Home Field Advantage
“Do you have her for a second?” I ask the nurse, and she nods. “I’m just going to run back to the classroom to grab her stuff so she’s ready to go.”
Once I step into the hallway, I inhale one long breath to try and steady myself. I rush to my classroom and close the door behind me. Alone in the room, panic engulfs me. I claw at my stomach, bending over and letting the tears fall. This is exactly why I stick to my routine, because I feel a sense of control. Could she have fallen off the swing with me there? Yes. But I wouldn’t have been so far away. I could have jumped into action quicker.
I stagger my way to my desk, feeling uneasy on my feet.
I can’t rid my mind of this panic.
Dallas is going to blame me. Sage is going to blame me.
This is all my fault.
Moments later, there’s a light knock on my door. As soon as it opens, I see Dallas filling the frame, hesitant to come in. As soon as his eyes meet mine, though, something in him snaps. He rushes over to me, rounding my desk and crouching down beside me. My lips tremble, and my eyes well with tears spilling down my cheeks. I don’t say anything because I can’t.
I’m sorryjust seems so inconsequential.
“Are you okay?” he asks.
I shake my head, and he reaches for me, pulling me into him. My forehead falls to his shoulder, and my body shakes with sobs. “I’m sorry.”
“Shh, honey. It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not.”
He pulls back. With one hand on my shoulder and the other taking my chin in his fingers, he forces me to look at him. “Sage is okay. She has a nasty bump on her head, but I promise you, it’s not the first one she’s ever had.” He pauses, making sure his words hit me where they need to. I release a sigh of relief, almost, even if my brain is still telling me otherwise. “I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t there.”
“But I wasn’t,” I snap, standing from my chair and brushing him aside to pace the room. “That’s the problem, Dallas. I always am. I never miss outdoor recess, but today I did.” My words come out louder with each one I say, frantic as I move around the classroom. “Today, I sent Rachel. I wasn’t there. You should hate me. I wasn’t watching your daughter.”
He doesn’t respond. He just stands there in silence, absorbing everything I just said. With slow, tentative steps, he closes the gap between us.
“Listen to me carefully when I tell you this, Poppy. You’re not to blame. No one is.”
And the better part of my mind knows that.
I don’t know why I’m still spiraling.
“And I never want to hear you say that I should hate you. There isn’t a bone in my body that possibly could.”
I stand there, shocked at his admission.
The corners of his lip twist into a grin as he registers the look on my face. Swiping a tear lodged on my cheek away, he presses a kiss to the spot. “And I mean that. I’d stay here for hours if I could to tell you and make sure you know, but I’m going to get Sage home to ice her head some more and rest.”
I nod, unable to find the right words to say back.
He leans in one more time, kissing me softly. Confirmation that he meant what he said before turning around, grabbing her bag, and walking out the door.
It’s only then that the screaming in my head subsides.
CHAPTER 27
YOU DESERVE TO FIND HAPPINESS IN YOUR LIFE, DALLAS.
Dallas
I called Tucker to cancel baseball practice tonight because I didn’t want to bring Sage with her lingering headache or leave her with anyone. He insisted on handling it and keeping it as scheduled. I don’t know what to think about that, but I’m going to let Tucker have this one.
My second call is to April.
I save her for last because I know this one will be longer.
