Page 119 of Love, Academically
There were so many unsaid words there, but it was an olive branch. One that she grabbed onto with both hands.
“Thanks, Sue, I will. I’m sure it will be fine. Rhys and I are both professionals.”
Sue nodded, not looking convinced, but wisely kept her words to herself.
“I’ll let you get on,” she said, leaving her room.
Lila was expecting eleven billion emails in the Departmental inbox, but Sue had obviously kept on top of them and she was grateful. A letter sat on her desk, her name handwritten across the large envelope. What if it was from Rhys? Perhaps it was a printed PowerPoint presentation of how she should get stains out of her blankets, or a step-by-step guide to unwinding knotted wool.
If it was, she could shred it, but she did have to check because if it was something from a student, her professional mindset would be ruined if she chucked it before she could read it.
Ripping the envelope open, she grinned. A wide, proper grin. It was her acceptance letter from Amanda on the Lexicography course and she hugged it to her chest tightly. Never mind that it only happened because Rhys had threatened Sue, she wasn’t going to dwell on that and she certainly wasn’t going to let him take any credit for her being accepted on the course. It was all her. It was the beginning of her dream to work in lexicography. She tucked it in her handbag for further discovery at lunch.
The morning passed slowly, perhaps because she was constantly on the lookout for stupid Rhys. Her head snapped up at every person who passed her office and because she was on the main thoroughfare, it meant that she was constantly looking at the door and, consequently, not getting an awful lot of work done. And getting a bit of whiplash.
Jasmeet had been the absolute best person she could think of, staying with her, checking in, but realistically, Lila needed to put this in perspective. She’d been through a breakup before and that’s exactly what this was. A breakup with a man who didn’t deserve her. That’s what she kept telling herself.
This wasnother fault.
So why hadn’t he come to apologise? Why hadn’t he been in contact since the whole debacle of Thursday? It was both gratifying that she didn’t have to see him or deal with his attempts at reconciliation, but a little part of her wondered why he hadn’t bothered. Not even to say sorry.
Lila took her lunch outside to the lake. It wouldn’t be long before it would be too cold and windy to sit outside. Today, the clouds hung low and threatening over the dark water.
She looked through the course paperwork. The modules were absolutely perfect. The History of Etymology, The Sociolinguistics of English, Forensic Linguistics. All practically perfect in every way.
It was time to share her excitement.
She sent a selfie of her holding the paperwork by her face witha grin. Not that she lookedgreat, but at least she looked better than she had at the weekend.
Lila popped in her headphones, scrolled to a podcast and gobbled down her sandwich. She wasn’t one of those women who forgot to eat when they were sad. Oh no, she was an ‘eat your feelings’ kind of girl, as demonstrated by the three empty tubes of Pringles and the two empty tubs of ice cream in the bin at her house.
Engrossed in her podcast (and concentrating on not slipping over), she didn’t notice the warm brick wall in front of her until she walked into it.
“Oh, gosh. Sorry,” she said, looking up.
Rhys, smelling of his stupid beautiful body wash.
She took a step back.
“Hi.”
He sounded like he had swallowed rocks. He looked tired. Pale, wan and tired. Smaller than usual.
“I’m sorry for ambushing you, but I didn’t want to talk to you in your office, I wanted to do it somewhere where you’d feel comfortable and had the ability to walk away if you wanted to.”
Well, that was kind of considerate. But still, nope.
“But, I really hope you don’t,” he said quickly, probably noticing that she was poised to run. Or walk quickly. “Walk away, that is.”
Lila clenched her jaw together. He didn’t get her words.
“I would like to apologise to you and explain.” Her eyebrow raised of its own accord. “I don’t want to make excuses. There are no excuses for what I said, but please let me talk to you.”
Let him talk to her? Uh, no. Lila stepped to the side to bypass him.
“Thank you for giving me the option to walk away, Rhys.”
He visibly deflated and her heart melted a teeny-tiny bit. Okay, so perhaps that didn’t come out as kindly as she thought it did.She was genuinely thanking him, because it was quite thoughtful to give her an out of this really rather terrible interaction.
