Page 83 of Love, Academically
“Oh. Hello Rhys,” she said, flicking her eyes to him and then straight back to her computer where she typed and deleted, typed and deleted. If she looked busy, maybe he would leave.
“Do you have a moment?” He took two steps into her office. His hands were clenched inside his pockets.
“Not really,” she said, eyes fixed on the fake words in her new Word document. “Drop me an email with anything you need and I’ll deal with it at my earliest convenience.”
That was good. No complaints about not being professional and shewasbusy with all that stuff for Sue.
“I was hoping we could have a chat.”
A chat? No, thanks. That did not sound in the least bit desirable. Especially not in the middle of the office. She could say, ‘Bear with me Rhys, just hold that thought about how I nearly got into your pants and then you ran away, whilst I deal with the students you make cry.’ Okay, so that was uncharitable, but that was the gist of it.
“Sorry,” she said, tapping away at her keyboard. “Like I said, put it in an email and I’ll be able to help with any work-related issues.”
Rhys sighed.
“It’s not work-related, Lila. You know that.”
“Then it’s not an appropriate conversation to have right now,” she said, nearly flippantly. Her leg was bouncing with nerves. She was well and truly in her big girl pants era.
“Can I see you after work?”
“I’m busy after work.” She glanced at him, and his eyebrows were pulled into a sharp frown. “And for the foreseeable future.”
“Lila,” he snapped. “I can’t make it up to you unless you let me explain.”
She blinked incredulously at him. Who did he think he was?Coming into her office and snapping at her like that about a private, personal matter when she had made it clear that she did not want to talk about it.
“I think you’d better reassess your tone, Rhys.”
Lila had absolutely nothing to lose today. He’d already rejected her once, so how much more embarrassment could he cause? Answer: not a lot.
“I’m sorry.” When he spoke again, his voice was more measured. “I’m just frustrated, because I want to explain what happened the other night.”
“I don’t think there’s much to explain,” she said, meeting his eyes with a taut smile. It wasn’t a question.
“There really is, Lila.” Rhys took a step towards her, his face guileless and eager. “I really do need to talk to you. To explain.”
There seriously was nothing to explain.It’s not you, it’s meand Lila didn’t want to havethatconversation where he would say ‘Oh you’re so nice, you’re so special, I just don’t feel like that about you, let’s just be friends.’ She could cope without having that mortifying discussion when the outcome would be exactly the same if they didn’t have it – just friends. Which was fine. Absolutely fine.
“Well, it won’t be today.” She looked back at her computer screen.
Rhys
Lila Cartwright was an annoyingly stubborn woman. He’d gone to her, cap in hand and she’d turned him away like there was nothing to discuss, when there most certainly was. But she was determined, and he was not going to force her. That would make him no better than Jason, overriding her opinions, making her feel less-than.
Unable to sleep well, Rhys took to running in the morningbefore work and had smashed his 5k personal best. The eleven o’clock cookie had become something of a ritual, as had the afternoon sugar boost. But Lila was right, the cookies from Big Tesco weren’t half as nice as hers.
The Fellowship application sat accusingly on his monitor. He hadn’t made any alterations to it for a week and it was due soon. It needed some final tweaking, but he couldn’t work out what. It just didn’t have enoughstuff, because he hadn’t done enough. If he didn’t absolutely have to apply for this, he would never put himself through it.
What Lila said sprang up in his mind, not that it was buried particularly deep.
So don’t.You’re a grown up. You’re self-sufficient. Even if you don’t get the Fellowship, why do you have to give up everything you’ve worked for?
He didn’t have to give up academia. He could live his own life, not worrying about what his father said. Couldn’t he?
Chapter 13
Quixotic(adjective) quix·ot·ic
