Page 77 of Love, Academically
“Goodnight, Rhys,” she said firmly and when he finally, reluctantly made his way outside, she closed the door firmly behind him.
The embarrassment was so strong that not even Kevin Costner and Christian Slater (and, of course, Brian Blessed) inRobin Hood, Prince of Thievescould dull it. After a fitful sleep, and not one, but two, bacon sandwiches this morning, Lila rushed around big Sainsbury’s getting her groceries for the week.
No one knew that she had been rejected last night, how couldthey? But she felt it was written across her forehead. ‘NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO SLEEP WITH’. Because that’s what it was, wasn’t it? She wasn’t good enough, he didn’t like her enough, it was all an act and he had been damned good at it.
Just so people don’t think I spent the night with you.He’d said it when he’d stayed over after the hospital and here she was, thinking that all the touching, the handholding, thatkissmeant there was… what? Something more? Well. Obviously not.
Tears had pricked at her eyes in the washing powder aisle when she couldn’t find the Fairy Non-Bio for Sensitive Skin because they’d rearranged the bloody supermarket. Why weren’t things simple anymore?
It was now three o’clock and she’d eaten her bodyweight in chicken nuggets and was well into a pint of ice cream. Her knitting lay on the floor because she kept dropping stitches. She’d messed up her cross stitch and did not have the patience for crystal painting, and certainly could not concentrate on Susie Dent’s latest novel (which, by the way, was amazing).
Restless, that’s what she was. Yes, restless. If she were the exercise-y type, she’d go for a run, or to the gym, or… whatever else exercise-y people did.
Rhys hadn’t texted and she absolutely refused to text him. Absolutely. He had made it incredibly clear where he stood, and it was not next to her. She’d gotten too carried away with the evening, the hand-holding, the longing looks. The kiss. The kisses, plural.
Checking her phone for the millionth time, Lila sighed. Neither Jasmeet nor Maddy had texted her and they knew it was Rhys’s thing last night. The least they could have done was asked how it went. She always remembered their stuff. But she couldn’t take it out on them, this was just the hot burn of rejection talking. Her friends loved her, they just had their own lives.
What she should do is channel some of this anxious,embarrassed energy into something beneficial and stop stressing about what she was going to do tomorrow when she saw him at work. Oh God, work. She could call in sick, but then she’d have to lie to Sue and she was terrible at lying. And he’d know she wasn’t sick. He’d know she was avoiding him.
A plan of action was required for dealing with Rhys Aubrey-Dallimore tomorrow. A plan of action that she mustnotdeviate from. There was no reason why seminars had to be held in her office anymore. If he finished the last module of his course by Wednesday morning (which he should), then seminars could go back into his own room. There was noneedfor her to have direct interaction with Rhys, and she would be professional and helpful as always. But by email. Not face to face. Impersonal, digitally sanitised email.
Channelling her energy into something vaguely productive, Lila sat on the floor and sorted out her wool basket, throwing away scraps and balling up strands that were long enough. It took her nearly forty minutes to become frustrated with the rats nest of wool that was tangled at the bottom of the basket. She shoved it all back together and practically threw the basket under the table. It bashed the table leg and the whole thing juddered, papers falling to the floor.
Lila let out a frustrated groan. Couldnothinggo right today?
Scooping up the paperwork, she recognised her loan statement. Well, it wasn’therloan statement, was it? It was Jason’s. Or, charitably, it wastheirs.
She gripped the paper tightly in her fingers, crumpling the edges. It was high time that Jason paid his own frigging way.
Grabbing her phone before she lost her nerve or talked herself out of it, she scrolled to Jason’s number and tapped the green button.
He answered on the third ring, and there was the sound of a door closing behind him. She’d bet anything that he was withLeanne and then scarpered quickly to answer the phone. What a dick.
“Hey Li, are you okay? Is everything all right?” His pathetic attempt at concern really pissed her off.
“I’m fine, Jason. I’m calling to let you know that the loan thatyoutook out when we were together is nearly paid off. You owe me half of it, Jason. I’ll take a lump sum payment. I’ll text you the details.”
Standing up for herself was terrifying and thrilling, and well overdue.
“What? Lila, what’s wrong? Do you need money? Are you short of cash?” Jason said, and she could imagine him pushing his stupid floppy hair out of his face.
“No, I’m not short of cash,” she said, balling up the statement. “But you took that loan out in our joint names and I have been paying it. Now I’m asking for you to pay half of it. Which is fair.”
More than frigging fair.
There was a silence at the end of the line. Perhaps he was in shock. She had never, ever spoken to him like that before. Never been forceful or demanding. She had been Black and White Lila with him, but Technicolour Lila was not to be trifled with.
“I’ll text you the exact amount and my bank details. If I don’t receive it within fourteen days, I’ll go to a solicitor. You owe me this Jason. Don’t make it difficult.”
Yes, a solicitor could probably help if Jason wouldn’t give her the money back. She didn’t care how much she had to pay for a solicitor to write a letter, Jason was not getting away with this.
“Come on, Li. You’re being unreasonable,” he said with a huff.
“I’m being unreasonable?I’m being unreasonable?” Was he fucking serious? Aftereverythingshe’d done for him, everything he did to her,shewas being unreasonable? Uh, no. “If anything, I’m being pretty goddamned reasonable by only asking for half, and only asking for it now, when you’re earning the big bucks.”
“That’s not true, I’m not,” he said half-heartedly.
“Yeah, well, you’re well versed in loans and I’m sure someone will give you one if you don’t have the money.” Jasmeet would have been so proud of that scathing tone.
