Page 49 of A Duke to Undo her
“No, Rose. Josephine is not in love with Benedict Emerton. Not a single jot and I won’t pretend otherwise for one minute. I’ll wager that she has thought of him no more this week than she has thought of us.”
Josephine looked gratefully at Madeline for quashing Rose’s fancy so firmly but civilly before it could expand further on the journey. She wondered what she could tell Madeline that might satisfy her. Her sensible friend could be very determined in seeking out truths when she felt it was necessary.
“I think there is someone else,” Madeline said slowly, her eyes regarding Josephine thoughtfully. “I think that Josephine is in love with…someone else.”
Breathing uneasily, Josephine found herself nodding in response to these careful words.
“Not Lord Carbury!” Rose gasped in horror, breaking the tension and then making all three young women burst into giggles at the absurd thought of Josephine falling for that soft, pink and foolish man.
“Not Lord Carbury,” Madeline repeated drily, with an inquiring look to Josephine, inviting her to admit what Madeline, at least, clearly already suspected.
“I’m in love with the Duke of Ashbourne,” Josephine finally admitted in a small voice. “I’m so in love with him and it’s horrible, not at all like in novels.”
Making this confession seemed to open a dam inside her and she could not hold back a sob. Madeline put an arm about her and hugged her.
“But how can you be in love with…” Rose began but stopped at Madeline’s thunderous look.
“Does he love you too?” Madeline asked Josephine gently and now Josephine could not help weeping openly as she answered.
“I believe he does. It is in all his looks, his words, his…everything. But Cassius says he cannot marry. He says he is broken. If I cannot have him, I want no one!”
Madeline now put both arms around her and patted her back for a few moments until Josephine could talk again. Rose looked stricken and chagrined.
“What does the duke mean by ‘broken’?” she asked timidly.
Josephine shrugged, having spent half of last night mulling this question over herself after the ball had ended.
“Cassius would not tell me more than that, although his mother once told me that he was afraid of love. That is something I cannot understand and I do not think anything can be done.”
“You call him Cassius?” questioned Rose, seeming awed at the thought of addressing a duke so informally. “Is that proper?”
“When we are alone, yes. Likely it is very improper but he would not have me call him anything else. It is how I think of him now. When we are together I cannot care for being proper.”
Madeline’s brows furrowed now and Josephine could read other concerns in her expression beyond informality of address.
“The Duke of Ashbourne did not…compromise you, did he, Josephine?”
“He never would,” Josephine said vehemently, “although I wished for it!”
With this very indecent admission, she buried her face in Madeline’s shoulder for a few seconds, afraid of seeing their reactions and having them think her a very wicked woman. When she raised her eyes, however, she saw only compassion.
“Then, the duke has been good and honorable in his dealings with you,” Madeline supposed. “All your friends know that you are impulsive rather than bad, Josephine, but some men might have taken advantage of that.”
“Cassius never would,” Josephine commented with mingled pride at her lover’s strong principles and self-control and sadness at their mutually frustrated desire and lack of fulfillment.
“Did he kiss you, Josephine?” asked Rose, eager but timorous. “What was it like? I dream of being kissed by a man I love.”
“Some things are private,” Josephine answered, feeling the truth of this rather than only the wisdom of not telling her friends quite how far the duke had gone in his advances without actually completing her deflowering.
“I agree with you,” put in Madeline supportively. “Your personal conversations with the duke are a private matter and we should respect that. Still, I should like to know how all this came about and how Rose and I were so blind as to think that Mr. Emerton was the only attraction for you at Ashbourne Castle.”
Josephine considered this and nodded, thinking that she would like to unburden herself of this story, now that she had confidence in her friends’ sympathy and a sense of where she would hold back. She leaned forward in her seat and looked at both Madeline and Rose before she began.
“It all started the first night I met the Duke of Ashbourne at the Silverton Ball…”
Both of the other young women listened with rapt attention to Josephine’s narrative, Madeline only occasionally asking for explanations or clarifications. While omitting their physical contact, Josephine otherwise spoke truthfully of her feelings for Cassius Emerton and her developing view of this complex man, culminating in their only dance and that final conversation at the fountain last night.
“I believe he loves you,” Rose said at the end, once Josephine had fallen silent. “What other explanation could there be for his behavior?”
