Page 52 of To Sway a Prince
"I don't want your pity!" My hands balled into fists as I struggled to breathe. I wasn't going to cry in front of this man. "I know what I heard, and I know what I felt! I wasn't hallucinating."
He did not even flinch now, but his eyebrow arched. "Do not misunderstand. I do care for you. And that's why you should leave. Yesterday you asked me to trust your judgment. Matters did not go as intended, and while they may not be precisely as you remembered, I did find myself distracted and incapable of doing what needed to be done. You were also far more vulnerable to the harm of the Chasm than I anticipated, and that distracted me, which put everyone in more danger. You are loyal, Astraia. I commend you for that. But your stubbornness overturns your wisdom. Zephyrus's desire to leave is understandable."
My mouth went dry. Each word was a blow against my very being. What could I even say in response?
"I renounce your offer to help me. You have done more than enough, and you have my gratitude. The reagents are being finalized. We know why the leviathan attacks. It will be simple enough to fashion a cure."
"But…the Chasm—your curse?—"
"It will be dealt with. Even beyond yesterday, I had a breakthrough while you were recovering," he said. The faintsmile was forced, cold and sharp, not reaching his eyes. He moved farther away from me and gestured with a broad sweep of his arm toward the door. "You are no longer needed, Astraia. And Zephyrus does not wish to remain. See for yourself."
Zephyrus shook his head, growling low in his throat. He nudged me then and tilted his head down as he did when he wanted me to climb on.
I pressed my forehead to his jaw, struggling to calm my breaths. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be. I had finally felt something—I finally felt like I had a place and the possibility of a future.
"Ramiel—"
"Are you a vow breaker?" He stalked closer, glaring at me. "You made that vow. And if you are so fickle and faithless as to break it now when the dragon to whom you have made that pledge clearly wishes you to depart, then you are not the fae I thought you were."
My spine stiffened. A great hollow space opened within my chest, aching and throbbing worse than the cold of the Chasm. "So this is…goodbye. Forever?" I barely forced the words out, and they hung in the air filled with grief.
"If Zephyrus wishes to return, you may return with him," he said, his tone a little softer now. "But only when he wishes to return. Do not return for me."
Zephyrus nudged me again, more insistently. The vow itself tugged upon my spirit, an uncomfortable itch forming along my limbs as the magic reminded me of what I had promised.
The air shimmered above. "Words have meaning, Astraia. All words, no matter where they are spoken and even when they are not fully understood," Caein said softly.
"Caein." Ramiel's voice was even icier now. "Enough." His gaze was even harder. "I am sorry for your pain, Astraia, but it's time. I renounced my hospitality to you. Go,…gnat. I appreciatedyour company. Don't make this any more painful than it already is."
"Gnat" stung this time. As if I were nothing. A speck in the sea. A fleck on the wind. Had I hallucinated his whispers of love and pleas for my life? Was he—was he just trying to protect me?
Zephyrus nudged me again, growling low and soft. My throat tightened as the vow pulled at me, an invisible chain demanding I honor my word.
I climbed onto Zephyrus's back, my movements mechanical. His scales were warm beneath my touch, familiar in a way that should have been comforting. But nothing could ease the hollow ache spreading through my chest.
Low murmurs and grunts from the other dragons stirred the air. Zephyrus's ears remained flattened against his head. He started to turn. I pressed my hand flat against his head. He stopped, but his chuff warned me he didn't want to linger.
That was fine. I—I didn't want to either, but I had to say something.
"In the Chasm and when the wraith had me in its grasp, all I could think about was…" I closed my eyes. The words stuck in my throat. "I thought I was going to die. And—the thing I regretted was that I would die without telling you that I love you. Because I do. I—I wanted a life with you here, Ramiel."
His expression remained impassive, carved from stone. His arms were at his side, motionless except for the twitching in his right hand. "You will find a better life away from here. One day someone will love you and give you the life you deserve. Go in peace and forget your little crush, Astraia."
Zephyrus shifted beneath me, wings unfurling.
I set my jaw, willing the tears back. "Go in peace. Goodbye, Ramiel."
Zephyrus strode out of the stable. Low grumbles and murmurs from the other dragons followed us as we left. The softclicking of his talons on the stone faded as he reached the packed earth. As we reached the knoll just outside the tower, Zephyrus turned his head and rumbled. His voice shook at the end.
The chorus of growls and chirrs rose.
I kept my spine straight and my shoulders squared. Part of me wanted to look back to see if Ramiel was watching.
But I didn't.
21
THISTLEDEEP
