Page 39 of To Sway a Prince
The tip of his tongue moistened his lips, then he shook his head. "Regardless, it is done. Do you think of the beloved you cut off?"
His gaze held mine fast, and though it was not a subject I had ever really opened up about, I could not help but speak. "Yes. Not as much now because it hurts. But…I comfort myself to think that he is happy somewhere. I hope he is. Then I realize there's so little I know."
"That would mean a great deal to him if he knew," he said quietly. "To know that someone loved you so much they were willing to deny themselves their own happiness to protect you. And there is sweetness in the bitterness of knowing that you long for him still."
"It does not feel sweet," I admitted. "Do you…do you struggle with your choice sometimes?"
"Every day. Every night." His hand fell back to his lap. And in that moment, there was only naked grief and sorrow in his eyes. "It became the hardest choice I ever made. Sometimes I have to remind myself why I made that choice to begin with. Remind myself of the importance of protecting her." He swallowed hard,his eyes soft and shining as if tears threatened. Though his voice softened, it did not falter. "And I suppose I would tell her what I would tell you. When all of this is said and done, I hope you have a good life. I hope you find peace and joy. That you make a home with someone who loves and cherishes you. Someone who sees who you are and realizes that they are blessed to be able to experience life with you. You may have severed your mate bond, but that does not mean you severed your ability to find happiness, love, peace, and joy. Nor does it mean you don't deserve to be loved."
His words struck me like a physical blow. I couldn't breathe for a moment, staring at him across the table as something inside my chest twisted. The raw sincerity in his voice, the vulnerability in his eyes—it was too much. No one had spoken to me with such naked emotion since...I couldn't remember when.
My throat tightened. What could I possibly say in response? My own words failed me. "Ramiel," I started.
A muscle worked in his jaw as he gathered himself. "I apologize," he said quietly. "I didn't mean to—" He stopped, then shook his head. "I need to be alone for a moment."
He rose from his chair, a slight tremor in his hands as he straightened his surcoat. "We'll speak more soon. There's something I want to discuss with you tomorrow. Something important."
I managed a nod, still unable to form words around the knot in my throat.
He hesitated at the doorway, his tall frame silhouetted against the light from the hall. For a breath, I thought he might turn back, might say something more. Instead, he drew a deep breath and continued on, leaving me alone in the candlelight.
16
STABLE CONVERSATIONS
The abrupt ending to the night left me reeling, yet somehow my sleep was peaceful. A warmth similar to the one that spread over me at the campsite the night Zephyrus left came over me as I rested, and it stirred a longing for family and home deep within me. The tang of magic on my tongue and in my lungs was not so unpleasant despite the sweet, dark flavor of plums when I woke.
Had I really told Ramiel so much of my past? It had been years since I had spoken to anyone of my family. When I was part of the Resistance, my family was spoken about mostly in generalities. They were images and symbols for inspiration, not the people with strengths, flaws, quirks, and oddities.
And Ramiel seemed to understand that. There had been no expectation from him when we talked. It was just…talking. The way people were supposed to.
And I wanted to save him even more than before. I flexed my fingers and tested my aura. The restoration of my own power was slower now than I liked, but it wasn't a sign of anything dangerous. Just fatigue. And that could be managed. Today I'd likely be testing my own limits if I pushed too hard on removingthose cursed knots, but if I paced myself, perhaps I could finish this within four days.
For now, I needed to dress and prepare for the day.
When I reached into the wardrobe, a new garment brushed my fingertips. I drew it out, then smiled. It was a soft pink travel dress with a wrap-around skirt and matching leggings, the sash and inner lining a beautiful rich turquoise. Certainly not for blending in, and today I didn't want to blend in.
I dressed swiftly, braided my hair, and then slipped down to the stables, eager to see Zephyrus. The familiar scent of hay and dragons filled my nostrils as I pushed open the heavy wooden door, only to find Ramiel already there in charcoal riding leathers with dark blue accents. He spoke softly to Thalorion, stroking the ancient dragon's jaw.
My steps faltered, and a bolt of heated energy shot through me. I still didn't know what to say in response to last night, though I desperately wanted to. A shyness crept over me, something I rarely experienced. Should I perhaps leave and come back later?
Ramiel turned at my approach. A smile spread over his face, gentle and warm. The way it reached his eyes made my heart stumble. "Good morning. The dress suits you. It's good to see how well the wardrobe is fulfilling its role."
"Thank you," I said, fidgeting with the sash's embroidered edge. "I—about last night—I wanted to tell you how much it meant to me. I'm usually better with words, but I just—I wanted you to know no one has ever spoken to me like that. And I know I broke into your tower, but you have been so kind and courteous. More than I deserved. You aren't a frost fiend bastard, and I know that we have not known one another long, but I will do whatever I can to save you. Not just in removing the curse. But…beyond that."
My words felt so fragile and weak, incapable of conveying the depths of my feelings. I swallowed hard, trying to steady my voice. "I also wanted you to know that I think you deserve happiness and peace as well. And if your mate knew what you did for her—I think she'd be angry but only because her mate was someone who put her well-being so far above his own that he was willing to deny himself rather than cause her pain. But I also know she would forgive you for that as well because I would do the same."
His brow drew up. Those soft lines in his forehead deepened. "Astraia—" he started.
"And what I am asking is that you please don't give up on you," I said, rushing the words out. "I know that you have to remain steadfast. And you are. But please…know that you aren't alone."
The edges of his mouth pulled up. "I know that. I'm glad that you are here though. I did want to talk with you more." He stroked Thalorion's neck. "I need to travel the Seam of the Chasm today to check for weaknesses and see if I can spot the leviathan. This was what I wanted to ask you about. Would you care to join me? You could ride with me on Thalorion."
The invitation made my insides flutter. The thought of sitting behind Ramiel, arms wrapped around his waist as we soared through the sky...
A loud chuff interrupted my thoughts. Zephyrus was watching us, his amber eyes burning with unmistakable disapproval. He sat up straight in his cell, head canted sharply to the side. Thalorion gave a long sleepy yawn, then clicked his jaws shut, and shook his head. Another huff from Zephyrus followed.
I couldn't help but smile. "Someone's jealous." I started to cross over to him, then halted, remembering the pulseport. "I'm not saying I wouldn't love to ride with you, and, I know this is up to you, but…would it be possible for me to go with you and rideZephyrus? It would probably be safer if we had two dragons with us as opposed to just one."
