Page 51 of Trapped By Claws
Those words hung in the air between us.
All I could do was stare.
"What are you saying, Corvin?"
"I am saying that I'm releasing you. I'll take you back. But I have to meet with the King of the North Sea. I can't slip out again without being spotted, and they will see me if I try to carry you through the waters."
My stomach clenched. I shook my head as I remembered the three fae who had come here. "They're going to hurt you, aren't they?"
He shrugged, his manner heavy and subdued. His claws pressed against his temples. "They have questions. They'll likely harvest my blood."
"Harvest your blood?" Alarm flared through me. How could his situation get worse every time we spoke? I suddenly recalled what Hosvir had said.
He nodded. "All the shifter fae are required to provide blood. It's early this time, but when we shifter fae have erred in the past, the king has required a heavier blood tithe. They have no other evidence of my violating the laws. Once they've taken what the king requires and satisfied themselves, they'll stop. Then they'll get off my back, and they won't be watching this place so closely. When I return, I'll take you back to your mother. In case something goes wrong, I've told Tagger to stay here with you. If I don't come back, he'll guide you through the water. Just tell him to take you to the Kabroks."
I bit the inside of my lip, tears pricking my eyes. He meant it. He actually meant it. And everything was becoming clearer. Including the thoughts I pondered in the past days. "It was just the ship, wasn't it?"
He grunted. "What?"
"You said over and over that the ship had to be destroyed."
He twitched his shoulder, but his gaze dropped.
"And you did know Captain Hosvir. It's why you came to see the ship. You knew it. There was a meeting place on the island. It's why he was willing to risk the boundary to get my mother where she wanted to be. He knew—he knew you were looking for the loophole too. And it's why the crew all cooperated." I shook my head. "I figured they weren't fighting you on the ship because they were too terrified. But no… They knew who you were. It's why they cooperated so fast."
"The law is merciless. And it was fulfilled to the letter."
"You don't want to be an enforcer."
He shook his head, his lips pressed in a tight line. One thin split still ran the length of his lip and chin, a trace of the abuse from the earlier day. "It was that or die from starvation orexposure or the disease that makes me this way. And I took the vow to serve the king so long as I remained in his territory when I was ten. It was my choice. Just as it has been my choice to fulfill only the letter of his law rather than its spirit."
"Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered.
"There are no secrets above the sea. Places like this are safe. But you never know who is listening above or in the open water. And once you were here with me, I started to realize it was a mistake. A mistake I can't even understand why I made." He bowed his head, the following words agonizing. "Shifter fae like me—we just don't have mates. Yet—" He looked at me, his eyes hooding. His breath caught in his throat. "I can't explain it. Every time I look at you, Mena, all I feel is hunger and need. I wasn't sure what it was at first. I—I'd never felt it before. It isn't as if I haven't flirted or even traded kisses or affection. But it never meant anything. It never awoke anything except a desire to see others flustered or off balance." He shrugged and let his arm fall to his side. "But with you…from the moment I saw you, all I have realized is what I lack."
Something inside me splintered. I moistened my lips and squared my shoulders. "So why did you want me to come with you down here? Was it just to save me from what you thought was a mother who didn't care about me?" I asked, my voice choked. "If you can't have a mate?—"
"No. It just slipped out the first time. The invitation. And then the idea behind it grew. The thought of no longer being alone. The thought of being near you. I wanted—" He shook his head. "What I wanted was unfair. Especially now when I realize the kind of person you are. You take care of people. And no one takes care of you. I wanted to take care of you, but I'm too broken to know how to do that as well as I would like. I think maybe people like you are rivers that give until they are dry. Then they mourn, not because they are empty but because they wish somuch that they had more to give. And I have to let you go or you will die in this place."
His words both cut and comforted me. "Corvin—" I started.
He stepped closer and took my hands in his. His claws lightly scraped my skin. "I thought I could hide you here. I didn't think they would notice that you were missing from the ship. I didn't think…" He bowed his head. "Cruel as they were to me, they would be worse to you. I know now I can't protect you. And this place is wretched." He pressed his forehead to mine. "I am so sorry, Mena."
My breaths grew ragged. "What makes you so certain I'm not your mate?" I whispered, my voice shaking. That rational part of my mind told me this was fast, and yet…it did not feel wrong. "I understand—I think—that there's a disease. But what if that's wrong? What makes you so certain?"
"The mate bond hasn't come together," he whispered. "It's simple."
"How do you know?"
"It would change me. And you. It would change me at my core. In my muscles. My blood. My very life."
"Is that why you kept grabbing my ankle and trying to touch me?"
He shrugged slightly and managed a smile. The corners faltered. "When I first saw you and caught your scent, something stirred in me. I hoped…" He swallowed hard, then nuzzled me. His eyes shuttered. "You are not my mate, Mena. But if I could choose one, I would choose you. I tried to choose you, but I can't condemn you to this fate." His breath wisped against my cheek. "I can't keep you here. I was wrong to tear you away as I did."
"We made a bargain," I protested, my voice hoarse. "I agreed to come with you."
"I was going to save everyone I could on your ship anyway. I manipulated you into coming with me." His fingertips strokedmy cheek before he stepped back. He paced across the room, sighing. "You're always going to give. And if I am to…care about you, then I must care for you as you are. Pretending that you would be anything but yourself was cruel of me. And I'm sorry, Mena. For everything. I want to make you happy, but I have no idea how to do it. Especially not in a wretched place like this. All the warmth and goodness here is because of you. All I've done is drag you into torment and suffering. And words will never fully express how much I regret that. How much it breaks my heart to even think of you being hurt because of it. But that night on the ship when you chased after me…"
