Page 42 of Trapped By Claws
"Hmm." He shrugged at that and took another grimacing sip. "Makes sense, I suppose. If I don't take it, then it advances, and it will shred me within hours. I'll lose my ability to hold myself together. So it probably is suppressing that. It certainly makes me feel more…solid. Less like I'm about to fall apart. Maybe that's why I can only become the eel."
That sounded awful. "You have to drink a lot of it."
"Not until recently. I used to take one mug every three days." He managed another sip. "Past couple days…it's just gotten worse."
I frowned. That sounded…bad. "It will—it will kill you?"
"If I stop taking the medicinal herbs, probably." He took another long drink. "Don't worry," he said dryly. "I already put in a request for added stores. The king is good at ensuring we are never without a supply. I know…" He paused, as if something had occurred to him.
"So you were able to heal me, but it doesn't work for you?"
His gaze darted back to me. "No…I mean, yes." His scowl deepened. "I don't know what happened. Most shifter fae can't do that. Not unless they're healers. I'm not a healer. So that's not what happened." He took a drink and grimaced, shaking his head.
"They can't heal anyone? That doesn't sound right." I shook my head as I watched him. "I saw one shifter fae heal another. He got mauled by a bear. Didn't look like he was going to make it."
He scowled, then scoffed. "Were they mated?"
"Possibly?" I managed a small, nervous laugh. "I didn't exactly ask their relationship status."
"Shifter fae can heal their mates." His bright-green eyes had gone sharp and hungry again, piercing me through.
He had healed me.
My stomach somersaulted. Wait—was that why I was feeling this way? "Are you saying?—"
"I don't have a mate," he said, his voice rough. "And even if I did, I wouldn't be allowed to take a mate. If I were found with my mate, I would be executed and so would she." He raked his hand through his hair, the words just spilling out. "Mating bonds happen fast," he said, his voice low. "If I could have a mate, I would have known if you were mine as soon as I touched you. But I can't have a mate. And I?—"
"You didn't feel anything for me?" I folded my arms. What was even wrong with me for feeling hurt at that statement? I didn't want him to have feelings for me. Of course not!
The way he looked at me though… He wasn't the first man to look at me in a way similar to this. But he was the most intense. "Fine then." I wasn't going to push it. It wasn't as if I wanted him thinking lustful thoughts about me or feeling me up.
My cheeks heated as I tried to avoid imagining his hands roaming over my body and the light strokes of his claws on my flesh. That was not what I wanted. Not at all!
The tension that radiated through my body was nothing more than…my mind blanked as I struggled to come up with an excuse. It wasn't real! And I wasn't disappointed. I was just—lonely. Salt's bane, I hated myself.
Then I realized he was still staring at me. His throat bobbed.
"You didn't feel anything for me, did you?" I asked again, softer this time.
"Are you telling me you did?"
His gaze pinned me in place. There was—there was something. Was it a mate bond?
"Listen. Let's not pretend. There's no mate bond before us. And I should be glad there isn't. The herbs are tailored to my blood as it is. If you were my mate, our connection would change even my blood. And the medicine wouldn't work."
"So you'd die?"
He paused, then shook his head. "Well, yeah, if I could have a mate. But I can't. That's the whole thing with this disease. Everything the King of the North Sea does is targeted at our blood and our core. A mate bond would change that. Finding a mate would be more than just—" He stopped, his brow pinching. "This is pointless. I grabbed you because I was lonely and I liked you. And the only reason you agreed to come with me was to ensure your mother and the crew survived. You didn't feel a mate bond."
"Of course not. I'm not a shifter fae. I'm not a fae at all. I'm just an ordinary human. I'm a spinster stew cook." The words snapped out, harsher than I intended. I tried to swallow the knot of emotion that built within me. "There's nothing special about me."
He hissed through his teeth. "Don't speak of yourself that way. Just because your mother cannot see your value beyond her use for you does not mean you have no value."
"Don't speak about my mother." My chest tightened.
He finished the murky liquid and set the mug down hard. Grimacing, he wiped his mouth. "You're going to ask me to let you go, aren't you?"
I struggled to calm my heart. This wasn't going the way I'd planned. My stomach twisted. "I don't see any reason for you to keep me here. If you're just lonely, I'll find a way to send you letters or something. But my mother needs me." My voice faltered before I could suggest he come with me. He didn't allow the pause to rest.
