Page 86 of Of Serpents and Ruins
None of that explained what had happened here though.
The tension grew heavier, burning and prickling in the air.
He gave a tight nod then started to turn away.
"Elias, who are you to me?" The question snapped out, trembling in the air before us. I wanted to ask him if we had been romantically involved before Brandt. There was just something about the way he looked at me even if I couldn't remember anything about him.
His dark-blue eyes softened. "I have longed so much to tell you everything, but some things… Stella, you’ll just have to remember on your own. Trust your instincts. You are a seer at heart as much as you are a water serpent shifter."
"When I look at you, I don’t remember anything," I said, my voice tight. I clenched my hands into fists. "There’s no memory there. It’s as if you have been wiped away completely. Why is that?"
His brow lifted more. Sadness flashed across his face. Then he forced a smile. The corners trembled. "I—I don’t know. I would have thought…" He bit the tip of his tongue before he glanced at me once more. "It doesn’t matter. Everything you need to know, you will know when it’s time. I have faith in you, Stella, and what happened between us—what we were to each other—it’s not important right now." He swallowed hard. "I know you love Brandt. I’m not saying Brandt is evil, either. I just… If you knew everything, then you’d understand—"
"Don’t say that!" I snapped. "If you’re just going to walk away and not explain, then you don’t get to say that."
He gave a slow nod. "Then I apologize for leaving."
With that, he strode away.
I watched him go, confused and angry. Why did this feel so wrong? Why couldn’t I remember even a trace of Elias? Everyone else was coming into focus. It had taken time with the others, but I had seen him every day since my return, and there was just nothing.
Was he an ex? Was he hinting that we had had a relationship?
Something had happened at Taivren. But even in thinking about that—it didn’t connect exactly to him. Just with an intense sensation of loss and fear and cold.
Slamming my fists down at my sides, I fled back to the guest room. Finding an attendant, I told her I wouldn’t be attending dinner. I didn’t want to be disturbed. All I wanted was to sleep. Then I slammed the door.
"Why does everything have to be so hard?" I cried out.
I ripped the loose dress off and scrubbed myself clean with a fury that left my skin raw and red. My hair received no better treatment as I clawed at my scalp and yanked the brush through it. Everything was so close to being right, and yet happiness was darting out of my grasp. Everything was going to fall apart. Everything—as perfect as it had nearly been—was about to collapse into complete annihilation.
And I didn’t even need it to be perfect. I just needed it to be real. To have my family back. My husband. My home. That was what I needed.
I ripped off my necklace and ring and tore out the earrings, dropping them into the glazed blue bowl on the dresser.
"What makes that so hard? Why are we so cursed?" I jerked an orange silk nightgown out of the drawer and pulled it on. One of the seams snapped and started to rip at the hem.
The uneasy sensation intensified. My skin crawled.
What was going on?
"You know, I must admit, I’m disappointed, dear. I gave you that little challenge almost a week ago, and you still haven’t answered it."
My feet fused to the stone.
No.
How?
How had the Gola Resh gotten into my room?
STELLA
The silver-framed mirror. It was directly in front of me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at it yet.
I already knew what I would see.
She was in here.
