Page 50 of Of Serpents and Ruins
I could lie.
No.
It was…it was nothing. I knew I should feel something. Not anger. Not closeness. Not friendship. Not family. He was purely neutral. Comforting if I didn’t focus too much on the alarm of nothingness.
He dipped his head closer, his brow furrowing as he studied me. "What's wrong? Oh…" He closed his eyes. "Let me guess. You don't remember me."
That last phrase had an added measure of pain to it.
I shook my head. "I'm sorry, Elias."
He gave me a warm smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "It's all right," he said, his voice surprisingly gentle despite the sadness in his gaze. "There are so many other more important people and matters for you to remember. It truly does not surprise me. Besides, our bond…it was different."
"How so?" I frowned a little at this statement. That made sense. It didn't stir memories, but that part of what he said…it felt like truth.
He leaned back, folding his hands behind his head. His fingers threaded through his thick, soft hair. "It's a lot to summarize, and it happened swiftly. But it started when Taivren fell."
A pulse of recollection cut into me. Not about him but Taivren. "That was a dark day," I whispered.
"It was. I don't want to overwhelm you, so I won’t tell you what happened. Just that that was when our bond began. I owe you everything, Stella. Because of that, I will do anything for you. To protect you, preserve you, please you. Whatever you wantfrom me, it is yours. I would risk anything for you. Without you, my life is meaningless."
My eyes widened at his frankness. "You shouldn't say that."
A chuckle fell from his lips, followed by a heavy sigh. He undid the leather straps wrapped around his wrist and showed me the tattoo I had glimpsed earlier. The indigo ink appeared almost black in the low light. "You saved my life. You helped me find purpose," he said frankly.
As I stared at his wrist and that bold mark, all I could do was shake my head. "I never wanted you to do that." No memory pressed at the edges of my mind. Just a certainty that this was not what I would have asked of him or anyone. "I never asked you to do that."
"No. You didn't. I did it myself." He dipped his head forward, his hand clasping his wrist and his fingers cradling the mark. "It was the only thing I could do to—" His eyes shuttered. "I meant what I said. I would do anything to protect you, Stella, even break my vow as a seer."
"I'm not asking you to do that—"
"I know," he said, his voice sharpening. He stopped, that muscle in his jaw jumping once more. "I know," he repeated, softer this time. "You would never ask that of me, but I made my choices. I made my choices long ago. For better or worse."
The way he looked at me held an intensity. A hunger that frightened me.
I lifted my chin. "Please don't do anything that would violate your conscience or destroy yourself for me."
His gaze grew melancholy, suggesting it might be too late.
I had to go. I had to go, or else I was going to ask him to tell me, and then I would have that on my head too.
I spun on my heel and hurried back down the hall. No sooner did I turn the corner than I realized my room was in the opposite direction.
Ihlkit!
Well, I wasn't walking back down there.
"Stella," Elias called after me. "Where are you going?"
"Back down to the Scrying Room to practice," I said with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.
Before he could respond, I scurried down the staircase and closed the door behind me.
I'd never been down here after dark. Even though it shouldn't have changed all that much, the chamber seemed darker, the blue of the river more electric, the air sharper.
I flopped down at the base of the stairs with my back against the wall. What was I supposed to do?
"I don't have a clue," I moaned, holding my face in my palms.
