Page 45 of Of Serpents and Ruins
An uneasy sensation welled up in the pit of my stomach. Curling my fingers around my cloth napkin, I cleared my throat. "How…how long do we have? If it turns out that the curse's countdown has resumed, I mean."
"Twenty-nine days." Kine pushed his bowl of soup aside. As he looked up, some of his mask slipped, and I saw the raw, painful emotion in his eyes—the fear, the uncertainty. He opened his mouth to speak then shut it.
"It could be less, especially if the magic continues to become more unstable," Elias added. "I doubt that Auntie Runa's vision will bring us much comfort either."
"Did she say anything?" I whispered.
He shook his head. "But you can tell by how she's lying there, it's drained her badly, and she's sad. When I fed her some broth, she had tears in her eyes. She didn't even want to eat at first."
Kine released a slow breath. He stood, his hands braced gently on the tabletop. The embroidered tablecloth scrunched beneath his fingertips. "True or not, it doesn't matter," he said evenly. "For now, what we must do has not changed. Stella, we need to get you through as much of your training as possible so that when we know the next step, we can act. We're going to have to trust that it will be enough."
"She needs rest too," Elias murmured. "Ihlkit, this has been a horns-damned nightmare."
Kine gave a faint nod.
Before he could say anything, I tightened my grip on the napkin. "I—this doesn't feel like we're doing enough."
"It's all we can do for now," Kine said.
"Can I see Auntie Runa?"
Though Elias started to object, Kine nodded. "Yeah, we'll clean up. Then I'll come get you so we can train a little more if you're up for it."
The hall to Auntie Runa's room was two halls from my own. My footsteps light and quick, I slipped inside.
Outside, it was dark, moonlight spilling through the window and shadows stretching long beneath it. Memories of little footsteps, heavy thunder, and scrambling up onto the bed overtook my mind. I could practically hear Auntie Runa shushing me."Don't you cry, lovely. Could be the spirits playing a game of pins and balls. Or could be a good cleansing storm. Nothing to fear."
If only all I had to fear were storms and thunder.
Auntie Runa lay motionless in the bed. Muscles fluttered in her face and neck.
Kneeling on the rug, I placed my hands over hers and leaned closer. "I hope you feel better soon," I whispered. "I don't remember you well, but I'm so scared right now. I don't know how I'm going to be enough to fix any of this, let alone what to do. All my life I have never felt like I fit or like I was in the right place. Now…now I am finally starting to feel like I am where I should be, and the curse countdown starts again. It feels like it's all going to be snatched away. Worse than that, like it's going to be completely destroyed."
Auntie Runa's fingers twitched beneath my hands, and tears rolled down my cheeks. Sniffling, I ducked my chin.
It was so quiet in here aside from the chuckling of the water fountain. My moods had been up and down all day. Now all I wanted to do was bury my head in a pillow and hide from the world.
What kind of person was I? This poor old woman had suffered something similar to a seizure, and here I was complaining to her. If ever there was proof she had been like family to me, perhaps this was it. But I could do better. I would.
Drawing in a deep breath, I pressed a kiss to her wrinkled hand. "It'll work out. I know it will. Even if I don't know the specifics."
More tears rolled down my cheeks. That had to be true. I'd make it true.
I don't know how long I was in there, holding Auntie Runa's hand, but eventually, Kine came to fetch me. He took me back down to the Scrying Chamber and put me through the paces once again. Neither of us spoke about the curse.
After another hour or so of training, I decided to go to bed. Before going to my room, I bid Buttercup goodnight. Sherested in a large woven bed in the main chamber with the other creatures. Most just looked at me with large sleepy eyes or ignored me in understandable disinterest, but Buttercup thrust her snout under my hand and huffed in happiness. Bubbles and Bobbles rushed up along the edge of the canal to ask for scratches.
There was something comforting about all these animals living in peace, but as soon as I lay down in the bed, the ache within my chest intensified.
Not just from the uncertainty and the fear.
Brandt.
Oh, ihlkit, it hurt. Drawing my knees up to my chest, I clenched my eyes shut.
I had made it home, more or less. Found the right appearance. Found part of my family. Found the answers to so much of what I felt. And yet a great gaping hole remained within me. Sorrow and pain flooded it.
Brandt's face played in my mind's eye as memories danced just out of sight. I could practically brush my fingertips over them, but whenever I focused, they vanished.
