Page 104 of Of Serpents and Ruins
"Even if what?"
"The only advantage that he would have to press with you would be that if Brandt died and you chose him as your husband, then he would gain the power of the king. There’d be no value in that, though, because Sepeazia is dying. He couldn’t escape that. No one can. But he also couldn't really gain the full powers of the kingship because those powers mostly relate to shifting. Elias can't shift even with a ring. Not that the king has to be capable of it, but it's generally expected."
I scowled. "Why would I have to choose someone to replace Brandt?"
"To ensure the balance of the two kingdoms that make up Sepeazia. Brandt cultivated great disfavor in his refusal to declare you dead. It was seen as unreasonable and offensive, but he is one of the strongest water serpent shifters in Sepeazia and had enough support to hold them off even though it did get bloody sometimes."
"I wouldn’t have asked him to do that," I said quietly, staring down at my arms. The fern-like patterns reminded me of waves dancing across my golden-brown skin.
Another memory resurfaced—Brandt's promise that we would go to Hadeon’s palace and get my tattoos.
"I wouldn’t have asked—"
"It doesn’t matter. You are dearly loved. We all love you." Kine leaned closer, his hand brushing mine as the ship rocked. "I just don’t want you to think that Brandt didn’t care—"
"I know he did." I spoke firmly, startled and touched by the warmth I felt in this moment. My smile grew. "And you have cared about me as well."
He chuckled. "I love you, Bug. From the day you first walked into my life and became the perturbing hellion of a little sister I never knew I needed, I have loved you, and I would give anything for your happiness." His expression grew somber. "But if we're being honest, I fear that perhaps I have doomed you and everyone else by putting that love and the desire to see you home above all other considerations."
"How do you mean?’ I frowned.
"Could we have found the cure or a way to open the portal before the fifty years?" His expression grew more downcast. "What if in trying to save you and bring you home, I simply condemned you? You didn’t remember us. You didn’t remember Brandt. You had a life on Earth."
"Setting everything else aside, the life I had on Earth…it was wrong." I gripped his hand in mine, startled at how raw he sounded. I hadn't realized how much this troubled him. "If I must die here, then it will be with the people I love."
"Oh, Bug, you could have found happiness in time. I’m sure of that, but I was selfish. I was so desperate to bring you back and make you a part of this family again that I didn’t think about the very real possibility that doing so would put you and Sepeazia in more danger."
"If you and Elias hadn’t brought me back, I’d have been stuck there for another fifty years." I ducked my head and pressed my forehead to his shoulder.
How odd was it that with Kine I wanted only to offer comfort and excuse what he had done and with Elias I wanted to remind him that I was not more important than the entire nation?
I shook my head at him. "Besides, you didn’t know that the curse wouldn’t have picked up again when you couldn’t reachme. Then there wouldn’t be any hope at all. Right now, we’ve got a little hope."
He hugged me tight, his lips pressing into a tight line as he pressed his forehead against the top of my head. "A little hope and a lot of knowledge. If I was wrong to bring you back…if I cut your life short—"
"No, there's nothing to forgive. At least not on my part." I pulled away, my hands against his shoulders. "You did what you did with the best of intentions, and I know you would never hurt me."
I did know that. I trusted him more than myself.
"And thank you for helping give me clarity," I added.
He really had helped me so much, even if I did still feel like I was being split in two.
I resumed helping Sen cook in the galley. We didn’t talk at all, and that was fine. There was plenty for me to do, and it gave me time to think.
Come late afternoon, I sought out Elias. I found him at the rear of the ship, sketching in his book once more. He straightened and stood as soon as he saw me.
I nodded in greeting but did not wait for him to speak. "I want to be clear. I accept your friendship, and I appreciate how you have fought for me and tried to help me get back here. I would not be here if not for you, so thank you, but our relationship will never be a romantic one. My heart belongs to Brandt. Can you accept that?"
"Yes." His expression did not even flinch. He simply met my gaze, his voice steady.
"And I do not ever want to hear again that you think I could do better than Brandt or anything that even remotely suggests that I should not be with him."
He started to nod then hesitated.
"Is there something else that you need to tell me?" I raised an eyebrow.
Though he’d hesitated, he shook his head. "No." He dipped his head forward. His head remained down. "There is no valid justification I can share for my words. I can only ask your forgiveness."
