Page 55 of Of Serpents and Ruins
"Ihlkit," he swore as he dragged his hand up into his hair. The spiky bits of red and black crunched beneath his fingers before he trailed them down to his neck. "You've got to go. Can you—"
"What were you doing down here?" I blurted out. Hugging his tabard tight around myself, I willed myself to be strong. Thiswasn't accidental. I had to go, but I also had to know. "The Gola Resh pulled me down into the well, and I wound up here, but I…I remember this place. It was in a dream. I just—I can't remember what it is exactly."
His brow furrowed. Frustration and longing filled his dark-red eyes. "I had to come. This was where I learned I would be the happiest man alive and then later where I learned I was the most cursed." He ran his fingers through his hair once more and then shook his head. "Listen, we're both adults. We're intelligent. We're…we are smarter than this even if we're getting played with by some wretched entity set on vengeance. You know this wasn't chance. She dragged you down here. She probably lured me here too, or maybe I just have bad luck."
"Probably?" I shivered more, my body practically trembling. Still, I smiled seeing him. He was so ferocious. The wicked scar that slashed thinnest just above his eye down to his jaw seemed even starker in this light, contrasting sharply with his skin. It made him look oh so dangerous.
He looked me up and down, his gaze so ravenous I wanted to pounce on him and demand he show me what he was thinking.
Ihlkit!
Auntie Runa was right. It hadn't been the alcohol.
Horns, stars, amethyst caverns, and whatever else could sparkle in the sky above, I wanted this man. I wanted to be with him more now than I did when we first saw each other.
This was embarrassing.
Or should have been.
The shame might as well have washed off me when I climbed out of that icy water. Even that wasn't enough to cool me off inside, especially not while holding his tabard.
He pointed behind me. "If you can walk, then go. Take the passage to the left and keep your hand on the wall’s left side. Never break contact with it. It will wend and wind, buteventually, it will take you back to the surface. Then you've got to get back to Auntie Runa's. Don't let any of the factions see you. They've been roaming. My guards can't keep them back all the time. A few might slip through."
"Whatever the Gola Resh is doing, we can trust it's nothing good for us." I struggled to speak the words. They were true. I knew it, but I didn't care. I hugged his tabard closer, the warmth and healing of the black fabric encasing my shoulders.
"No, it's not," he agreed. "Our sages and scholars are close to finding the solution, I think. A little while longer, and we'll have an answer." He swallowed hard, his throat bobbing. "We'll find a solution. Just—"
"Just what?" The pounding of my heart quickened as I stared at him, unable to tear my eyes away, barely able to even blink. I knew I needed to leave this cavern immediately, but my feet remained rooted in place.
"I don't know how we missed that the Gola Resh was still alive and capable of existing fully incorporeal," he said. "No one has given me a good answer. Maybe it was her magic, but I think we've missed something or someone. There may be a traitor on my council, but I don't know who. No seer can tell me either. All they see when they look is darkness or emptiness. You need to get back to Auntie Runa's. Even though I can't see you while you're there, it's worth it to know you're safe."
My own muscles clenched in protest.
We held each other's gaze. The longing intensified. The pulsing within my chest was like a wound. Just seeing him wasn't enough. I couldn't move.
He dragged his hand through his hair again and rubbed the back of his neck. "You need to run, Stella," he murmured. He pressed the base of his palm to his temple, turning his face from me. The muscles and veins along his arms tightened, standing out like angry lines.
No.
I needed to run, had to run, but I stood there, hugging his tabard close.
"I am sorry for hurting you," he said hoarsely. His eyelids squeezed shut to block the sight of me. "And I don't want to do it again, so go. Please."
"I don't hold it against you," I said softly. "I know this isn't you. When I was looking into your eyes, it wasn't you."
The haziness intensified as I drew in a deep breath. His arms looked so strong. It would feel so good to feel them wrapped around me. To feel his heart beating against my cheek. To hear his powerful breaths.
The few shreds of commonsense I had frayed. If I walked away, it would get easier, wouldn't it?
I forced myself to look back at the passage he'd indicated. The passageway loomed at the back, narrow and cold. My feet refused to move. A shiver coursed through me.
I had to. For both our sakes.
Swallowing hard, I pushed the heat down within myself. "Do you want your tabard back?"
"No." His voice was strained. It sounded as if he was in pain. "No, just go. Now. I can't hold myself back from you much longer."
I managed two steps before I stopped. Then I turned back to look at him. My heart raced faster.
