Page 43 of Bound By Blood
"May I ask? Why lie about not remembering? Why not just refuse to tell everyone?"
"It was easier. Everyone could see the mark the night fae left on my shoulder anyway." She fussed at her sleeve. "Even if they can't see it, a lot seemed to guess. Something about the way I carry myself, I suppose, and memory loss is a common side effect. No one really pried beyond that. Especially since Nan found me halfway up that staircase in the forest."
"You mentioned that earlier," he said, tensing. For the first time, he looked back at her. Anger or fear flashed in his eyes. "So you weren't coming out of the portal. You were going into it. Erryn, don't you know—"
"I know what they are. Or at least what they seem to do. But it didn't seem important at the time." She hesitated as she met his gaze.
That was the part he wanted to focus on? A fear that she might cast herself to death and the unknown through one of those doorways? She deserved far worse.
"But that isn't what matters. What matters is that I shouldn't have made that bargain to begin with. I gave them up for literally nothing."
"Erryn—"
She held up her hands, shaking her head. The tears couldn't be stopped now. "And truth be told, I should not have made the trade with you for Buttons. It was dangerous, and I'm fortunate that you weren't someone who would twist my words against me."
He moved beside her. "Well, the words of your trade were well chosen." His hand brushed over her arm. "As were your knots."
The tears built within her. Why was he trying to make her laugh? She covered her mouth.
"And this situation—this bargain you made with the night fae—this is what you think makes you a horrible person? The reason that no one could or should love you?"
She nodded tightly.
"Then, please let me address your points again. So far as you not being worthy of love, Erryn, I disagree. And your mother and sister would as well. Mistakes were made. Regrets formed. But that was years ago. How many I can't actually say since you won't tell me how old you are."
"Old enough to know I can't make it right." She pressed her hands to her eyes.
"Probably not, but it doesn't mean you should punish yourself for the rest of your life. It doesn't make the situation better. It doesn't use the life or the skills you have."
"How can you even look at me?"
"How can I look at you?" He tilted her chin up. "You're the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. Not just physically either." He leaned in closer, his breath caressing her cheek. "You're brave, strong, clever, and compassionate. Yes, you made a mistake, though I certainly put a lot of blame on the one who offered you that bargain to begin with, but if you could fix it you would. You're imperfect but still deserving of love and happiness. How could I not look at you? I don't want to look away."
Her heart skipped a beat as she stared into his eyes. Of all the things she'd expected him to say, this wasn't it. How could he be this wonderful? How could—
She closed the space between them and thrust her lips to his.
Groaning, he swept his arms around her and crushed her close. His hands roamed her body, pushing her into him as she thrust her fingers through his silky hair.
He ignited a fire within her that she had never felt before. She twined herself closer, holding him tight. Those three words burned inside her. She wanted to say them—needed to say them—and then they'd both be tested.
A cold bolt of realization struck her. She pulled free, panting. "Wait. I'm sorry. Ryul, we're going too fast. We have to be smart about this."
"Smart?" He gasped. He stepped back, wincing. "How so?"
"I haven't given you any time to process what I've told you. You may feel differently about me—about us once you do. And then—what I want to say—what I will need to say—if this doesn't stop, what happens next?"
He laced his fingers together and rested them on top of his head. "All right." He closed his eyes for a moment, then shook his head. "This is fast. And that wish will test us. It will tempt me. We should be ready for it." He released a long slow breath. "So I'll think long and hard about how I feel about a woman who made a bad bargain when she was a child. And you think about whether your past should bind you and whether you can accept that someone actually wants you. Let's take seven days to think about this then."
"Yes." She nodded.
The deep desire that swelled and burned within her continued, but those curls of unease helped her restrain herself. She pressed her fingers tight against her palms. She wanted him, and he wanted her. That wasn't a guarantee it would last. The thought of offering an open-ended wish also sent her into a near panic spiral each time she considered it.
"One week. That's good."
"Good. And, in recognition of how much you hate to lose or be wrong, I dare you not to fall in love with me more before the end of the week. And I double dare you not to say it." He flashed her a coy smile, his manner seeming to ease. "All risks aside, I'd never let you live it down."
"No, I doubt you would."
