Page 101 of Shifter King
"He would tell you to do it." He met her gaze unflinching.
Something stirred within her. Warmth, happiness, sorrow. All bittersweet. "Of course he would," she said softly. She did know that. Did that make it right though? "But I don't want to hurt him."
WroOth wobbled his head back and forth as if he weighed this. "He was ready to wear a bustier, a bustle, and whatever else it took to convince these Bealorns he was a woman so he could get in here and save you. And if it was just a matter of brute strength and combat, you know he’d rip the wall right out of this cavern. Not only would he tell you to read his mind, he would be furious if you didn’t. You're lucky you can tell him that this place has kept you from reaching him because otherwise he'd be livid."
She leaned forward, the suphrite spilling over the edge. "I need you to answer me plainly though. Will it hurt him?"
Sighing, he folded his arms and sat on the edge of the elevated pool. "Dear heart, he is already suffering. And all that matters to him is getting you back safely. If he can help, he wants to. In fact, I can tell you part of his plan is to share that burden with you."
"What do you mean?"
"If it comes down to it and you have to drink the psychic wine, he is going to use the connection between you both to help alleviate some of it. And we've got something that will make it pass easier."
He was trying to soften it for her. "But it will still be bad." She shook her head. "Brucao said not to drink it until I have no other choice. That—" She closed her eyes. Poor Brucao. Had Zorna told the truth when she said she brought all of them out of the pit? What if that had been a lie?
"You won't drink it until there is no other choice." WroOth took her hand in his. "We have some time. I am going to do all I can. If we weren't so far underground and if there weren't so many traps with poison and venom, I'd just barrel us through. But unfortunately for us, this place was made by geo Shivennans. And while there are many criticisms I could levy against these Bealorns, failure to maintain this place is not one of them. And what that means is it is almost impregnable. Every twenty feet, they have weighted doors. They shut this down, everything closes. And after about a mile of crashing through stone doors, some of us get tired." He laughed a little, obviously inviting her to do the same.
She tried to smile but faltered. "It's all right. It'll be fine."
"Amelia, please listen to me. All joking aside, if there is anything I can do to spare you this, I will so long as it won't risk killing you. That's the one thing I can't allow."
"I could have avoided it." She bit her lip. "It—" She tried to push back the tears, but they started to come. "Zorna wanted me to break this woman's mind to prove my loyalty. And I—I couldn't."
"I know." He squeezed her hand. "I know, dear heart." He glanced up at the ceiling, then around at the thick stone walls. "You did well. Maybe it will comfort you to know that she survived. Naatos found her. He brought her to our camp. This queen will pay for what she has done, all right?"
She sniffed, trying to hold it back. "I thought about doing it though. I didn't want to, but I thought about it. And it almost made sense. I wondered whether destroying her mind was better than making her live with all of these horrible memories. But also—I was scared."
"Of course you were. Who wouldn't be?"
"It's not just that." She wiped her hand beneath her eyes. Even now she could feel the Ki Valo Nakar watching her, its moon-like eyes boring into her. Watching. Waiting. Judging. It wouldn't want her to say this. But she had to. "The Ki Valo Nakar has been telling me to rip out the souls of the guilty and eat them to be strong. That I could end all of this." She shrank inward, trying to press the image of it from her mind. Yes, it was scared. Of course it was. But its option—the only option it had—was an even worse fate. "I don't want to hurt anyone like that. WroOth—I don't know what to do. It's going to keep torturing me with this and telling me that I have to. What if I reach a point where I can't fight it anymore? It keeps saying this is the only way."
He hugged her tight, his hand pressed to the back of her head. "I'm sorry." "I don't know what to tell her. What do I tell her?"
She closed her eyes, shaking. "I won't listen to it. I'll hold out. It's fine. I can do this."
"Of course you will," he said, sounding far more confident and at ease than his mood reflected. "It doesn't know what it's dealing with. And the reason I know you won't give in to it is because it would destroy you. It would kill you in its own way."
"Neyeb who do that don't stop, do they?"
A long painful pause followed, then he shook his head, still holding her. "Let's take where we are now. Don't take the rest of your life. Or even the next year. We focus on now and getting out of here. And we will. If the worst comes to the worst, less than three days from now. All right? You have my word. And you must also remember, Amelia, the Ki Valo Nakar is not your friend. It never will be. It is an entity that is trying to bend you to its will. It wants to do this because it does not want to wander. Because it does not want to be without power. You have to remember who you are and what you want."
She closed her eyes, more tears spilling free. "I want to be out of this place."
"We're going to get you out, all right? We're going to get you out. And hey." He tapped his finger under her chin. "We not only found Eskiatlo. We reunited her with her daughter. Choe. That baby was hers. And they're both safe and happy. Now I don't know how much I believe in miracles, but that seems like a special thing, don't you think? And maybe there are a few more coming for you as well. So don't let White Eyes talk you into doing something you would hate yourself for later."
"Why do you think Elonumato let it be inside me? If its whole purpose is to counter those horrible curses, why do those curses exist? Especially when it can do something almost as bad if not worse?"
He sighed, then shrugged. "I don't know. But, while I do think that death is the worst thing that could happen, I also know that having to live with something you would regret as much as eating souls would be a close second. Even compared to drinking psychic wine and going through whatever it brings."
Oh yes. That other thing. She rubbed her temple. "Also I saw the Okalu."
WroOth tilted his head. "I'm sorry?"
"In my mind. There was a long corridor. It was watching me. I sealed it up with bricks. If I drink the psychic wine, will those go away? Will I be able to grant them permission to come inside if I'm not in my right mind?"
"I…" WroOth pressed his hand to his forehead. "Well, first, are there any other entities lurking about in your consciousness?"
"Not that I'm aware of."
