Page 83 of The Secret Christmas Library
‘I’m here,’ she said sulkily. ‘Stupid bloody place.’
‘Torches on,’ ordered Jamie. ‘Come on, let’s be organised. Let me see . . . if it was third on the right, that must be . . .’
Hands shaking, they set off and trooped down a path. Before too long, though, it became obvious, as they hit one dead end after another, that somehow Jamie had miscounted or they’d got turned around, because they weren’t getting out of there; they couldn’t see the end, and on one turn they got straight back to the pineapple grotto again. The pineapple was almost totally obscured by snow. If they’d been ten minutes later, they’d never have found it at all.
They set out again, but with, hideously, the same result, no matter how carefully they tried to reverse the instructions, or how many times Esme announced she was sure she recognised this or that path, or Theo kicked at the undergrowth to try to find more hidden entrances. Visibility was genuinely very poor now.
‘Bugger,’ said Jamie.
‘Shit,’ said Esme. ‘Oh, my God, we’re going to freeze to death out here!’
Mirren didn’t say anything. She was too cold. She felt rather strange, as if she was floating; barely there at all, a ghost in the maze. It wouldn’t bother her, she thought, if she were to tear her clothes off; run barefoot, a nightgown flapping around her, nothing more; exploring the maze, getting further and further in, deeper and deeper down. That, in fact, seemed to be a very delightful idea indeed. Sleepily she pulled the zip down a little on her jacket.
Beside her, the boys appeared to be having an argument, even as the snow continued to come down.
‘Come on,’ Theo was saying, holding up a lighter. ‘Come on. We’ll just burn a hole that we can crash through.’
‘You’ll burn the entire damn thing down,’ Jamie was saying. ‘It’s been here for hundreds of years!’
‘Yes, and so will our corpses if we don’t get out of here quickly!’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ said Jamie, but he didn’t sound convinced. ‘Come on, let’s go again, one more time. We’re back at the start. Third on the left . . . ’
He turned round and caught sight of Mirren, who was swaying slightly, then made a decision.
‘Christ,’ he said to Theo, who was still waving his zippo around. ‘Oh, for God’s sake. Okay. Try it.’
Theo bent down and flicked at the lighter, which made a tiny spot of yellow light in the darkening afternoon, in the thick snow. He held it to the wall of the maze. One tiny stem caught, and then another, coaxed by Theo, who tried to keep the snow off it. Jamie and Esme joined in, trying to make a barrier against the wind. The tiny stalks crackled, until a large pile of snow collapsed on them and put them out.
Theo frowned and started again. ‘Have we got any kindling? We really need something a bit more flammable.’
Jamie looked worried. ‘Well,’ he said. ‘There’s the letters . . . ’
‘Use the envelopes,’ said Esme, impatiently.
‘But it’s someone’s personal mail . . . ’
‘I feel warm already,’ said Mirren in a slightly dreamy voice, and they all looked at one another.
‘Fuck it,’ said Jamie.
‘Actually . . . ’ said Esme and pulled out a hip flask.
‘Esme!’ said Jamie, disapprovingly.
‘Oh, yeah, like you’ve got a better way than watching your future fall apart in real time!’
They scrunched up some envelopes, doused the roots in alcohol, and the old paper, fine as an onion skin, blazed immediately. Enough little branches caught for them to enjoy the blaze – Jamie pushed Mirren out in front of it, and she felt herself swim in and out a little, not sure why there was a fire there – until there was finally enough burning for them to start kicking at it. The fire reared back like an animal, and grabbed other branches and roots inside the hedge, the ones inside that were protected from the snow and had stayed dry. It was surprising how fast they caught, and Theo shot them a worried glance. But there wasn’t time; he had to boot through. Very nervously, the men used their gloved hands to pull ashy branches apart, as Esme hopped from foot to foot and told them to hurry.
Crawling through the bottom of the hedge with fire on either side of her to get out of the castle maze confirmed to Mirren that this was a very strange dream of some kind. Jamie was concerned and kept prodding her to go faster, and she didn’t know why he was doing that; she didn’t mind being there. She wouldn’t be surprised at this point if a white rabbit turned up and she had to play croquet with a flamingo.
Once they were all out and found themselves on the far east side of the maze, miles away from the entrance, or the hole on the other side, Esme set out apace to the castle. Jamie looked back, worried, at the smouldering ruins of his hedge.
‘The snow will put out the flames, right?’ he said.
Theo was already heaping snow on the remaining fire. ‘Of course,’ he said. ‘You keep moving. I’ll make sure it’s out, and it’ll be easy to repair.’
‘I’ll add it to my list,’ said Jamie. ‘You know the way back?’
