Page 76 of A Very Titan Christmas
She fidgeted. “Forget about his big legacy-making summit. If only I could make peppermint bark, host tea parties, and solve international security issues. Then both of you would be safe at home. No one would need security details.”
“You seem better about his retirement than you did earlier when he told me.”
“I’m going to miss this life.” Eloise waved a hand vaguely and frowned. “I’m supposed to start a second act. Apparently.”
“Why can’t you still be the famously overstepping woman you’ve always been?”
Eloise cut her a sharp look but laughed. “I have a confession.” She twisted her fingers into nervous knots. “I went a little off the deep end when Dad told me his plans at Thanksgiving.”
“How so?”
Eloise blushed. Never in Rachel’s entire life, no matter what shenanigans her mother had gotten into, had Eloise Porter ever blushed. “Mom?”
She smoothed her hands over her cheeks as though trying to cool them and then stared at her lap. “The truth is”—she raised her chin and met Rachel’s eyes—“I’ve been talking about grandbabies because I… lost myself for the last few weeks. And I thought if I was going to also lose my job—being a senator’s wife—then I could transition into a new role as a grandmother.” She cringed. “I don’t think I even realized what I was doing when I started pestering you like a lunatic. I’m sorry. I love you, and I just lost myself. I don’t need grandbabies. Well, I mean, I wouldn’t say no if you and Mr. Handsome decided to jump on that bandwagon, but I’m actually more concerned about your health and happiness. Contrary to what I’ve said and done recently.”
“Mom…” Rachel was quiet for a beat. She shouldn’t have lied to Eloise. Something had been going on with her mother;she should have figured that out instead of conjuring up a fake boyfriend. “I have to tell you—”
“That said,” Eloise continued, “I really am thrilled you and Bryce reconnected. I mostly liked him back in high school. Until that little breakup of yours when I wanted to kill him. Painfully, to be honest. Slowly and painfully. But I like him even more now.”
“Mom—”
“When he realized you were missing… The look on that man’s face. He would have torn the mountain apart looking for you.”
Her stomach fluttered even as she swallowed hard. Her mom deserved the truth.
“He loves you,” Eloise said softly. “I could see it clear as day.”
She swallowed hard and felt a blush rise on her cheeks. “I told him to lie—Well, actually, I lied, and he went along with it.” She gnawed on the inside of her cheek. “Titan Group even wrote the whole fake relationship into my security plan. For all the good that did me.”
Rachel waited for the lecture that would come, complete with her mother’s theatrics. She deserved whatever tantrum Eloise threw.
“But is it still fake?” Eloise asked quietly. “Because I know what I saw on his face. I know what I’ve seen when you’re together.”
Rachel closed her eyes and replayed the key points of their relationship in her mind. The fake boyfriend set up a situation that he couldn’t refuse. Her anger and hurt over a long-ago breakup. The way she now understood what teenage Bryce had been trying to do: protect her. Their ruse had fallen apart because, even as she forced him to ice skate and decorate cookies, they bantered and talked—and she’d fallen in love again.
“It was supposed to be pretend,” she said finally. “I don’t know how fake morphs into real, but…”
“It sounds like it already has. Even if you haven’t discussed it.” Eloise reached out and took her hand again. “You don’t have to know what comes next. If it’s real, don’t let it slip away just because it didn’t start the way you thought it should have.”
It was real on her end. Rachel nodded, eyes stinging. “Maybe we could talk about something else.”
“Sure.” Eloise patted her hand. After a long moment, she dropped her voice. “There’s something I have to talk to your father about, but I haven’t. I’m nervous.”
Rachel used a knuckle to swipe away a stray tear and laughed. “You’re never nervous about anything.”
“Not true.”
“What could you possibly be nervous about?”
“I’ve been with your father for over forty years, and I’ve always been defined by what I am to someone else. Your mom. His wife. I’m still those things, but maybe…” Eloise smoothed her hands over her legs. “Maybe, for my second act, I run for mayor. Mayor Fowler will be retiring and suggested I run.”
“Really?”
Eloise gave a self-deprecating laugh. “I’d certainly obsess less about future grandchildren if I had a new role to fill my time.” She shrugged as if downplaying the possibility, but her eyes showed an excitement that Rachel hadn’t seen before. “It’s an idea to think about and far more interesting than picking up competitive bocce ball. I need to talk to your father about it—and I’m saying all this to show you, in my expert way of leading by example, that you should talk to Bryce. Only good can come of it.”
That wasn’t true—not with their lives and careers taking them to different places. Their futures didn’t intersect. But sheknew this: Nothing about what was between them was pretend. And maybe it hadn’t been from the beginning.
*
