Page 40 of A Very Titan Christmas
“No,” he answered quickly and, perhaps registering how her jaw hit the sidewalk, amended, “I don’t hate the holidays, Rachel. I just have no interest in a holly, jolly season.”
“So you’re a grinch.”
His eye roll was hard enough to start a rockslide in the mountains if he wasn’t careful. “You’re being overdramatic. Is it so hard to appreciate that not everyone loves the holidays and all the happy-go-lucky expectations that come with them?”
“Yeah, it kind of is.”
“Well, lucky for you. Everything in your life is relatively simple. You have a job you like—”
“That I love,” she corrected.
“Love,” he amended. “A hometown that you love. A city that you live in that you love. Parents who drive you crazy, but again, they’re parents who you love.” He gestured to Main Street. “Your life is ideal. Christmas can be just like the movies.”
“Fine. Your parents are flakes—”
“To put it mildly.”
“But they can’t be why you hate an entire season, Bryce. You can’t blame family.”
“You’re right,” he said as though he didn’t mean it. “You ready to go?”
She grabbed his arm. “You can’t just run out on a Christmas tree—”
“I don’t run from anything.”
“You ran from me, or don’t you remember that?”
“Fuckin’ hell, Rachel. I don’t know how many different ways to tell you I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“By running?”
“I wasn’t running. My parents were significantly, categorically—hell, metaphysically—different than yours. Wenever stayed in the same place. I had zero stability at home. And you had”—he gestured to the entire town—“a place that wasn’t going anywhere. Parents who were too involved in your life. That were too involved inmylife. You never had to pick up and leave. You never had to start over every single year. That is a privilege you had that Montana and I never had.”
He flinched as if he’d said too much, but Rachel wouldn’t let him get away with the excuses. “You know what? Call Montana. Tell him to come up here. We’ll have a reunion, and you can kick your bad mood down the road and deal with it after you leave here.”
“Montana died in a car accident years ago. He’s not showing up to cheer up the season.” Bryce turned and walked toward the car.
Rachel didn’t move. She didn’t know how to proceed. The hurt on his face ripped into her chest. She snapped out of it and ran after him. “I’m sorry.”
He shrugged her off. “It’s fine. You didn’t know.”
“I didn’t,” she said, trying to keep pace. “I don’t know what to say.”
They stopped by their vehicle. “There’s nothing to say. It happened. It’s part of life. Some people get dealt great cards.” He gestured to her. “Some get shitty hands.” Bryce shrugged. “I have a job that I like. I’m retired from the military, where they gave me everything I needed. Stability. Order. Understanding. And an expectation of what day in and day out would look like. I’m not the kid you knew in high school. I like solitude. I have no room for distractions. No room for relationships and no room for the holidays.”
Rachel swallowed the ache at the back of her throat. She chewed on her bottom lip and wanted to tell him she was sorry one more time but thought that would be patronizing. “You must think my article is so stupid. So trivial and ridiculous.”
“I don’t.” Silence lingered. “I’ll help you with this thing with your parents, but don’t try to turn me into someone I’m not. Someone who is part of a big, happy, albeit over-the-top family who loves December in Silverberry Ridge.”
“Okay.” She rolled her lips together.
“Okay,” he said flatly.
“Maybe you’ll enjoy it here if…” She had no words. “We’ll just pretend—” She bit off some stupid sentiment about enjoying life and that Montana would be happy if Bryce weren’t miserable and alone.
“Rachel, I’ve been here a little more than a week. I’m gone in another three. You can’t save me. You can’t change me. You can accept me for who I am, and we can continue to fool Eloise, if that’s what you want. But I can’t give you anything more than that. I can’t really be the man you think I am or should be.”
She stomped her boot. “Who said anything about saving your grumpy ass? About changing it? All I said was enjoy the damn tree with me.”
