Page 56 of Resisting His Target
A future of which he wants no part.
She wouldn’t have thought he could have become so important to her in such a short time, but he had. Even Selena cared for him, that was clear. Jackie had been alone for years, but this was the first time she could remember truly being lonely, and it hurt more than she would have expected.
“Mama?”
She turned to find Selena out of bed and lifted her arm in invitation. “Come here.”
“When are you coming to bed?” asked Selena, coming around the couch.
“Soon. I just want to watch the news for a bit first.” The girl cuddled against her side, and Jackie wrapped her arm around her daughter’s shoulders, kissing her head.
The newscast came back from commercial break. “Speculation has been running high around the country about the paternity of Jackie Desjardins’ daughter.” Footage of Jackie and Selena at the airport rolled on screen. Jackie’s eyes went wide, the temperature in the room feeling a hundred degrees hotter than it had just moments before. She frantically looked around for the remote control, already knowing it was too late to prevent the inevitable revelation.
“Tonight, News Channel 13 has exclusive access to Selena Desjardin’s birth certificate, and has the answers you’ve been looking for. Selena Desjardin’s fatheris notDouglas McGrath, but a former United States Navy SEAL named Ian Rhodes. He and Jacqueline Desjardins can be seen in this footage from the Democrat National Convention taken yesterday.”
Selena sat up slowly and turned wide eyes to her mother. “Razorback is my dad?”
Jackie opened her mouth, not sure what she wanted to say. Lying was bad, almost always the worst choice even in times like these. But in light of the developments of the last few days, the truth felt cruel. “Uh…” Jackie hedged, still floundering for the clicker.
A female newscaster said, “They’re a handsome couple, too, Frank.”
“That they are,” said Gough. “We wish them all the best.”
Jackie found the remote and turned off the television. “This wasn’t how I imagined telling you this.” She sighed heavily. “Let me start at the beginning.”
35
Razorback stood at the edge of the reflecting pool, watching the sun rise behind the Washington Memorial. He’d woken before dawn and been drawn to this place, needing to be here like he needed to breathe. It was unseasonably cool, a light breeze blowing in his face as he thought about all he had lost, and what he was going to do about it.
He’d spent the better part of the last three years focusing on what was gone. His appearance as he knew it. His wife, his vision for the future. His place in the Navy SEALs. At least he’d replaced the last one, finding a new home at HERO Force, but the loss of the others he’d let define him for far too long.
A young family was walking toward him from the other end of the mall, their distant voices one of the only sounds. The sky was alight with yellow, pink, and blue, and he stared at the reflection of the monument in the still water.
If he left here today, he was unlikely to ever see Jackie again. But if he stayed, even just to talk to her one more time—hell, maybe ask her on a date—he would be venturing down a completely new path.
His eyes closed. The future was a complete unknown. He couldn’t have predicted what would happen to him or the effect it would have on his marriage, just as he couldn’t predict what the future held for him if he pursued Jackie.
Life was a crapshoot, a risk, a chance. There were no guarantees. Then there was Selena. It would be far too easy to get attached to her, and that added a whole new dimension to any relationship he might have with Jackie.
He checked his watch. His flight to JFK was leaving just over an hour from now. He should have left for the airport already, yet here he stood.
The family passed by him and continued on their way. He didn’t look to see if the children stared, and if the parents noticed his face, Razorback wasn’t aware of it.
This place, this park, this moment. He was at a crossroads where his military service, his marriage, the time he’d spent recovering at Walter Reed, and his choices for the future all collided like spokes on a wheel. He could pick any path, and in that moment he chose to walk toward the World War II Memorial at the opposite end of the reflecting pool.
There would always be another plane. Right now he was right where he needed to be, acknowledging the roads he’d traveled and those not taken before he embarked on a new journey.
36
The news report was long over, Selena asleep on the couch with her head in Jackie’s lap. The conversation Jackie had been dreading since Selena was born had gone better than she expected. She hadn’t even lied, though she’d left plenty of the story out, including Doug’s name. It would tide the girl over until she was older and a more detailed accounting was required.
She stroked her daughter’s hair. Selena had been disappointed to learn Razorback wasn’t actually her father, which took Jackie by surprise. Selena and Razorback had gotten off to a rocky start, but they seemed to have forged a bond along the way that was stronger than Jackie realized.
Good friends were easy to make in times of great difficulty, which also might explain why Jackie felt as strongly about Razorback as she did. They’d been through so much together in such a short period of time.
And in time, I’ll forget all about him.
She doubted that was true, but she wanted to believe it just the same. There was a knock at the door. “Come in,” she said, figuring Jessa saw her light on and knew she was awake. But it was Razorback who entered, and Jackie’s stomach pitched.
