Page 45 of Married to the SEAL
He reached out and took her hand. “It doesn’t have to mean anything more than you want it to,” he said.
She shook her head. “These last weeks have been surreal in every way.” Now he was taking a step back, giving her the option of starting fresh when they got back.
Did she want to take it?
The idea left her feeling sad. For while she knew she shouldn’t pursue a relationship with Matteo, she knew she would miss him if she didn’t.
“I don’t know what I want,” she said. “I wish I could give you a more definitive answer.”
“As long as you don’t have any regrets, that’s good enough for me.”
Regrets.
This last year had left her with a few of them. She couldn’t completely wish away her relationship with Mason, as he had given her Nico. But so many of her choices had strained her already rocky relationship with her father.
“Where did you go?” asked Matteo.
“I was thinking about my father. We’ve always had our differences, but lately it seems like that’s all we have. When my mother was alive, she was the go-between, always making sure we found a way to get along, even work together. Since she passed away, we can’t seem to have a decent conversation without assuming the other one has terrible intentions.”
She looked down at her ring, still not used to seeing it on her finger, and twirled the gold against her skin. “She would be sad to see what things are like now. This is definitely not what she wanted for us.”
“If you don’t mind me saying so, it doesn’t seem to be what you want, either.”
“No. It’s not. In a perfect world, I wish I had a father I could talk to, who enjoyed my company and didn’t think I was a walking disaster. But I can’t control other people, and me wishing for it won’t ever make it happen.”
“What if I told you I thought he wished for the same things?”
“Are you his confidant now?”
“No, but he did share with me enough to make me realize he cares about you very much.”
Her eyes stung. Her father would never tell her himself that he cared for her, and it had been many years since her mother had done it for him. “Do you really think so?”
“You should talk to him. Life is short, Grace.”
“What about you? Do you get along with your parents?”
“It’s just me and my mom. But yes, we do. She’s only fifteen years older than me, so we have a different relationship than a lot of people do with their parents.”
“What about your father?”
“I never met him.”
“Just like Nico will never know his. You seem like you turned out okay.”
“If that’s a compliment, I’ll take it.”
“Do you feel like it hurt you not to have your dad in your life?”
“It’s hard to miss what you don’t know. It made me wonder if I could be a decent father when the time comes.”
“You’re wonderful with Nico.”
“I like him.” He laughed. “I never realized how much personality a baby can have.”
“He’s got personality, all right. I just hope I don’t screw him up too badly.”
“Life doesn’t always work out the way we want it to, but if you’re looking for the good in the world, it usually turns out okay.”
