Page 32 of The Lady's Guide to Well-Endowed Dukes
The well-oiled wheels of espionage tripped up by a feather-brained girl and a woman who’d made an utter fool of him! That smarted the most. Not just that he’d failed in his duty but that he’d allowed himself to be so taken in.
On his side, their affair had been the start of something undeniably special. The torture of these past weeks had taught him that. Despite the way she’d used him, he couldn’t help the way he felt about her. The connection between them was real—even if she had cultivated it for her own ends. That she would never know his honorable intention in stealing the letters tore jagged at his heart—for her opinion of him mattered.
She mattered.
And yet he’d held himself aloof, avoiding places she might be. He’d done his best to hold himself to the promises made long before Estela Bongorge entered his world, but he couldn’t do this anymore.
Rockley was aware of applause around him. The aria had finished. The lights rose and people around the auditorium got to their feet, keen to stretch their legs for a short interval andtake refreshment. Mr. Maitland leaned over, and they shook hands. Rockley made an apology for his lateness.
“Come, Judith,” Mr. Maitland offered his arm to his wife. “Let us leave the young people alone. We’ll order you a brandy, eh, Rockley, and lemonade for Marjorie?”
He could only nod.
She looked nervous and relieved at the same time.
“Miss Maitland. Marjorie”—he cleared his throat—“there is something I must speak of to you, regarding the wedding. I’ve been remiss in letting the days go past?—”
“I have something to say too.” Marjorie jumped in. “I haven’t said anything of it yet to my parents, but it’s good that we speak first—since it’s our future that’s affected.”
He was intrigued. It was unlike his fiancée to assert herself, but she looked quite determined.
“You mustn’t think I came to this decision lightly. In fact, I’ve thought of not much else since Frederick died; even before that…” She looked down, at her lap.
“Please. Do go on.” Rockley laid his hand over hers. Clearly, she had something on her mind and, though his own news would likely turn hers on its head, she deserved her chance to speak.
Her gaze darted to the curtain separating the box from the passageway, as if fearful of her parents returning. “You are a gentleman, and perhaps we’d be happy together, in the end. I know it’s what you wish, because you are good and kind.” Miss Maitland bit at her lip. “But the truth is that I have feelings for someone else.”
It was last thing he expected her to say.
“I see this is a shock to you.” She pushed the heel of her hand to her forehead. “It’s almost a shock to me, but I had a conversation this evening that showed me what I already knew, and it made things so much clearer.”
“A conversation?” He was most confused.
“Yes. Someone in the retiring room. A stranger who knows nothing of me, nor of you. She made me see that I need to follow my heart, and not be afraid.”
“I see.” He didn’t, really.
Miss Maitland had led a sheltered life. Her parents had only allowed them this time alone together because they were due to marry within a matter of weeks. Nevertheless, she’d surely met someone to have inspired this change of heart. Whomever the fellow was, Rockley imagined her parents would have something to say about it.
“You’re telling me that you’re in love with another man?”
“No!” She declared abruptly, then looked taken aback by the strength of her own reply.
Now he truly was baffled.
“I’m sorry.” Miss Maitland looked as perturbed as he felt. “I don’t think I shall ever be someone’s wife. I don’t think I even wanted to marry Frederick, though I was much younger then, and for a time I thought everything would come out alright. The person I’d like to be with can’t marry me.”
Rockley spoke softly. An inkling of the truth was beginning to dawn on him. “But you are in love?”
“I think I am.” She nodded. “I don’t know what else to call it—when you want to be with one person all the time. When their happiness is as important to you as your own.” She raised pleading eyes to his. “That’s love, isn’t it? To want someone so much that the idea of being without them is desolate?”
“Yes.” He knew that feeling all too well. There had been a hollowness inside him since Stella had walked off the ship and out of his life. He’d accepted it because he believed it must be what she wanted—to have nothing more to do with him. But the pain remained.
If he had to carry on, living like this, without ever seeing her, without letting her know what she meant to him, he didn’t know how he’d bear it.
If that wasn’t love, what was?
“We haven’t much time.” Miss Maitland was speaking quickly again. “You do see? I don’t think I can marry you. It’s an awful spanner in the engine. Mummy will have to uninvite all the guests, and there will be a lot of brouhaha. She and Daddy will be cross, but they’d be even crosser if they knew who it is I really want to be with. They’d say I didn’t know my own mind and try to persuade me to reconsider.”
