Page 39 of Viking Warriors: Vol. 1-3
It could do no good to dwell on my discontent, yet I couldn’t set aside my heart’s true yearning.
I walked to where he sat. When he looked up, I saw an anguish I’d not expected, though I couldn’t tell if he was simply pained that I’d overheard or anguished at Gunnolf’s insistence at an allied marriage.
Leading him to our chamber, I undressed him and myself, until our bare skin touched and my breasts brushed the hair of his chest. He guided my hand to where he wished it but I was not ready to lose myself in lovemaking. Instead, I lay him down and curled my body to his.
“If you take a wife, what will become of me?”
“You’ll stay with me.” Eirik’s voice was firm. “You’re mine.”
“You won’t send me away? Marry me to another man?”
“Never.”
I fought to contain my tears. “But how can it be? I cannot watch as another woman takes what I desire— marries, where I have no hope. And what of her, this Freydís? How can you expect to keep us under the same roof?”
“If I take her for my wife, she’ll do as I ask.”
“But you don’t wish it, Eirik?” I’d never begged, but I could hold back no longer. “You want me to have your children? You want me to be with you, always?”
“Yes, my love, yes.” His soft mouth found mine and his fingers stroked my hair. I felt the caress through all my body, felt myself opening to him, seeking the reassurance of his physical love, wishing to believe that our lovemaking would conquer all that I feared.
Man and woman joined, we sated our need. I surrendered as I always did. There was unfathomable pleasure in his touch, breaking me apart until the world was tumbling and I was lost.
“You’ll marry her.” I whispered, afterwards.
“When the time comes for me to act, I’ll know what I must do. You, too, Elswyth. You’ll know.”
“And why must we obey your brother? Can we not leave? There are other lands, surely. A place we might go.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying.” His reply was resolute. “We must do what’s best for Svolvaen—you and I both.”
He placed his fingers on my lips, bidding me listen.
“When my mother told us to hide, Gunnolf carried me,” Eirik began. “We went to the forest, crouching among the trees. I didn’t want to hear or see, but Gunnolf made me look, and Helka, too. We hid until there were no more flames. My uncle, Jarl Hallgerd, beat the Skálavík raiders into retreat, but my father fell, fighting.” His voice caught in his throat. “They took several of our women, my mother among them. Svolvaen emptied its stores and coffers for their release, and the pact was signed.”
He said nothing for some moments and I ached for him. I’d caused pain, making him remember.
“When she returned to us, she was changed. Grief for my father, I thought; perhaps something else I was too young to understand. A few months later, they found her in the fjord.” His breath left him in a long sigh. “My uncle and aunt had no children so we became theirs and, on Hallgerd’s death, Gunnolf received the jarl’s mantle.”
I kissed Eirik’s fingers and moved them over my heart. “You serve him because it’s what your uncle wished.”
“And what my father would have thought right. It’s my duty to serve Svolvaen and my jarl, even when I don’t agree with his strategy.”
“No matter that he wishes to lead Svolvaen into war against an enemy you may not be able to defeat?”
Eirik pulled me closer. “If it’s my destiny to fight, I will.”
“What if it’s your destiny to die, Eirik?” Tears overtook me. There was so much I might say but I knew no argument would change how Eirik felt, nor the outcome. His bravery had won my heart, and the physical power of him. How could I change any part of what I loved?
His sense of duty was as real as the inked patterns upon his body—those markings that defined who he was, and where he’d come from. It was my history too; yet, half of me did not belong here, and I was not his wife. I was no better than his slave, albeit a willing one.
My voice trembled. “I can’t lose you.”
“Don’t cry.” He brushed my hair from my face. “I’ll return, and we shall have many nights, my Elswyth.”
He kissed me, murmuring his promises, but the words fell hollow, for what substance had they? I must take what was granted, having no power to demand more, but I feared an end to my happiness.
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