Page 161 of Everything After
“Yeah, that’s what I was talking to Alfie about. I want you to stay in the band. You shouldn’t need to consider anything else, most of what happened is on me.”
“No, it’s not. I’d have given the band up long ago if it hadn’t been for you. Don’t think I don’t appreciate the part you’ve played all these years in getting me out there. I needed you, Cody.”
He nodded with a small, wistful smile on his lips, and he chuckled. “Yeah, you did.” He chuckled again. “But the last time we performed, you weren’t looking at me for your support, Alfie had you. He helped you to see, you didn’t need me anymore.”
In that moment, it would have been all too easy to tell him he was wrong, that I did need him, that he must stay. I believe if I’d said that he would have done what I asked. But it would have been selfish of me, because of the personal feelings I held about him in my heart weren’t the same as his toward me.
“We’ll still be friends, right?” I asked, knowing I still wanted him in my life. Cody was still an important person to me, even if our connection had become more complicated in the past couple of years.
“If you want me, of course. But right now, I feel I need time to step back, to find my own happiness that doesn’t try to destroy that of another person.”
“You mean me,” I quietly muttered. My heart ached with the sad smile he gave me as he stood. “Come here,” he mumbled, tugging me back to my feet. “Don’t you dare cry. The move I’m taking is best for both of us.”
We stood for a long minute just hugging out the pain we both held in our hearts. It was the end of an era for XrAid, for Cody and for me. My only hope was that Cody found something much better.
The moment Cody and I walked back into the sitting room I saw Alfie’s jaw tick. Cody’s arm dropped from my shoulders and settled down at his side.
“Guys can we have a moment of your time?” I asked, lifting Charlie from Shawn’s arms, who now had him, and hugged my baby to my chest. I stared down at my beautiful son, and I figured if I could iron things out with Lennie my position in the band could work.
Then I thought on what Alfie had said about asking Kieron at Sly Records to coordinate Crakt Soundzz, Cobham Street and XrAid’s schedules and figured his wasn’t a bad idea after all. If the label’s PR could strike a balance that gave all of us quality time with our families, then perhaps I really could have it all.
“Everything alright?” Alfie muttered. His voice laced with concern. He glanced down at Charlie and immediately began to stroke his head. He never could be near our son and resist the need to touch him. His gesture of love toward our baby brought a smile to my lips, and when my gaze met with Alfie’s, his lopsided smile mirrored mine.
“So, I’ve had a chat with Lennie today, and as you all saw, one with Cody too. And I’m afraid to say there will be a change to the XrAid lineup going forward.”
Lennie’s jaw dropped, his head reeling back on his neck and his eyes wide with shock. “You’re leaving?”
“No, I am,” Cody muttered.
“You?” Digs muttered as he shook his head.
“Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and with everything that’s happened, I… I think it’s time I made the break. It’s not all bad news. I’ve been offered a three-album deal as a solo artist by a small label just starting out. I’ll be their ‘catch’,” he said, making quote marks with the fingers of both hands.
“We can’t change your mind… work this all out between us?” Shawn countered, sounding diplomatic for once.
“No, I’d almost made my mind up before I came here today. Too much shit has happened. And y’all know the elephant in theroom isn’t going to abate unless I get time away from it,” he said, nodding toward me.
“I’ve decided I will stay with XrAid, but the schedule of work is going to look a lot different from now on,” I quickly said to smooth over any awkward comments that may have been said once Cody had said his piece.
“We can work something out,” Lennie agreed, sounding keen to have me back.
I immediately diverted his attention to talk about the general issues we’d had. “Over the years, our dynamics had changed, not just for XrAid with me having Charlie, but for Cobham Street, with Coral and Lennie, and for the guys in Crakt Soundzz too. So, with all the bands being signed with Sly, Alfie suggested discussing our schedules to ensure there’s no surprises, as in clashes of tours that affects important time or occasions with our families,” I said.
“I’m sure they can work that out, Lily,” Rick agreed.
“We’ll miss you, dude,” Digs said, focusing back on Cody. He slapped his back in a genuine show of affection. “You’ll do amazing things out on your own.”
“Yup,” Cody chirped.
“But we’ll meet up regular, right? Friends for life… no matter where your career takes you,” Shawn insisted.
“Friends for life,” Lennie mumbled as he stepped forward and held up a fist.
Cody nodded and bumped it. “I’ll still expect an invite to parties and significant events, but right now, I need time to see where this opportunity takes me.”
“I wish you all the luck in the world, Cody. You deserve it. You’re a fabulous artist, and you’ll shine even better without us lot cramping your style,” I said. “Doing something different can be exciting. I’ve written a song with Delilah and we’re thinking ofreleasing that as well. I just need to speak to Kieron at Sly about it.”
“Can’t wait to hear it,” Cody and Lennie said in unison.
