Page 114 of Racing Heat
“I know that,” I reply, walking into the kitchen to get myself some water. “Do you want anything?”
He shakes his head. “No, I want you to come back in here and talk to me.”
I turn to face him, leaning against the kitchen cabinet. “My place isn’t that big. I can still talk to you from here.”
“Please.”
He says the one word that might just do me in. My feet feel like lead, and they’re keeping me grounded in the kitchen. Seeing him standing there staring at me with his blazing chocolate eyes, the only thing I want to do is run into his arms, but my pride won’t let me.
“Please, what?” I ask, throwing my arms up. “What is it that you’d like me to do for you? You kept everything! I lost everything! What else is there that you need?”
“You! I fucking need you. I lost you. That was more important than the job I could have kept. I wanted you. Did you not want me too?”
“I did want you,” I mutter.
“Did?” he asks me.
I sigh. “Are you just asking me if I want you so that you can have an ego boost? What does it get us, or you, if I tell you that I still want you? If I tell you that I was so brokenhearted for the past few days that I couldn’t get off this couch. Or that I’ve cried myself to sleep every night. I was happy that you never camehere, because at least I wasn’t dealing with the ghost of you in my home.”
A small smile plays on his lips. “You still want me, huh?”
I walk into the living room and take his hands in mine. “I never stopped. I just didn’t think it was possible anymore. I assumed August had put some pretty tight restrictions on you seeing me, and that was how you kept your job.”
“He didn’t. I think I kept my job because there aren’t many goalie coaches around, or some shit like that.”
“Well, lucky you,” I quip.
“Yeah, lucky me that I’m standing here in this room with you. Lucky me that I can love you still and there’s not anything anyone can do about it.” He leans forward and brushes a strand of hair from my face. “I know things got screwed up, but you and I were good together, weren’t we?”
I nod. “We were.”
“Isn’t it worth seeing if it could be great again? Don’t leave. Stay here. Live with me. I have plenty of rooms. Just don’t go. Don’t go,” he pleads with me.
I smile at him and melt into his arms. “I never wanted to be without you. I just figured…”
“Well, kid, I think you figured wrong.”
“I sure did, old man.” I tease him the same way I did all those weeks ago when he ran with me for the first time.
“You know, I went to go for a run the other day. I was sad you weren’t there,” he admits.
“I’ll be there tomorrow. Do you want to stay?”
He smiles. “Yeah, I do. If you’ll have me. Or if you’re not worried that the girls from the team will see me.”
I sigh and shake my head. “I feel like it won’t matter. Some of them are already suspicious anyway. Apparently good news travels fast.”
“Fuckers,” he grits out. “Well, fuck them.”
“Fuck them,” I repeat. I take Jase’s hand and lead him to the bedroom.
“I’ve always wondered what this place looked like,” he tells me.
“Really, you thought about stuff like this?”
“I did. I really wanted to know you, Cassie. I think you may have underestimated just how much.”
“You might be too good to be true.”
