Page 12 of Rebel
“No, I wasn’t on the plane when it crashed,” he said. She looked at him as though he had lost his mind, and he knew that she was going to require more details than he was giving her.
“How were you not on the plane, Bolt?” she asked.
“Well, because I had just jumped out of it,” he admitted. Her gasp filled the cabin, and he released the armrest, pulling her hand into his own. If he was going to share his story, he was going to need to touch her.
“Why would you jump out of the plane?” she asked.
“It’s a long story,” he admitted.
“Well, we have almost four hours until we land. Can you tell me your story in four hours or less?” she asked. He didn’t want to tell any part of his painful story, but he knew she deserved at least that much from him.
He could tell that Rebel was waiting patiently for him to begin his story, but he wasn’t sure where to even start. There was no way that he’d lie to Rebel but telling her the truth wasn’t going to be easy. How did he tell the woman he was falling for that he had survivor’s guilt and possibly got more than half his unit killed? Maybe just ripping off the band-aid was the way to go.
“I was in the military—Army Ranger. I’ve never told anyone why I left the military. I was too ashamed to put that truth out there, so I’ve kept it to myself all this time.”
“What happened?” she almost whispered.
“We were running training maneuvers the day that I lost more than half my unit. We were just about finished with the first run of jumps when everything went wrong. I was just about to jump when the plane’s engine caught fire. I was thrown from the plane, but I was lucky. I was wearing my parachute. My buddy, Matt, wasn’t as lucky. He wasn’t jumping during that run, but he was also catapulted out of the plane.” He paused, knowing that the worst part was still unsaid.
“I tried to catch up with him, but he was falling at a much faster rate than I was. All I could do was watch as he fell to his death. He died because of me. I was the one who wasn’t supposed to be jumping that day. I convinced Matt to change places with me, and he did, saying that he had a headache anyway. He died on impact, and all I could do was pull my chute and watch one of my brothers die, Rebel.” She squeezed his hand into her own and swiped at the tears that fell down her face. The last thing he wanted to do was make her cry, yet here he was doing just that.
“You couldn’t have known,” she insisted.
“I know that, but if I hadn’t been chasing that adrenaline high, he’d still be alive,” Bolt said. “And you wouldn’t be here,” she whispered.
“No, probably not, but I wouldn’t have had to live with survivor’s guilt. Hell, death might be a welcome substitute to feeling that pain.” He thought back about the events that happened after Matt’s death. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion around him.
“The plane went down next,” he almost whispered. I was almost to the ground when I heard the pop of the second engine.The damn thing nearly hit me on its way down, and I swear that I can still hear the guys shouting over the radio inside the cockpit. They had to have known that they were going to die. There was no surviving that kind of crash—especially with no working engine and one already on fire. As it whizzed past me, I could feel the heat of the flames, and I knew that I was going to have to watch the rest of my friends die. It was the worst day of my life, Rebel.”
“I’m so sorry,” she breathed.
“I blacked out when I hit the ground. I couldn’t control my chute, and I landed in the middle of the wreckage. When I woke up in the hospital, they told me that I was lucky that I didn’t burn to death in the fire. I didn’t feel very lucky, though. In fact, a part of me wished that I had died that day—with the rest of my brothers. I was the only survivor, and I felt as though I had nothing to live for. The rest of the guys had wives or girlfriends, and a few of them even had kids. They were never going to go home to them again, but I was going to eventually walk out of there. I ended up with shrapnel in both of my legs, and it took a lot of rehab and time, but I eventually walked on my own. It just wasn’t fair. I should have done more to help save them. I might have lost my career in the military, but those men’s families lost everything.”
“There was nothing that you could have done. None of that was your fault, Bolt,” she assured, her hand covering his heart. It felt as though it might actually beat out of his damn chest. God, she was the perfect fucking woman for him and not telling her that was weighing on him. He didn’t care about her past. Hell, he had a past, too.
“You don’t have to say that, but I appreciate it. I was a mess for so long. I was in and out of rehab for my drinking, and when I found the Royal Bastards, I finally started getting my act together. Savage and the guys got me on the right track.You know, most of them are either military or ex-military. Well, except Banshee’s older brother, Killian. He’s a one percenter, but he has a heart of gold.”
“What’s a one percenter?” she asked.
“Um, it’s someone who’s been to prison. He got mixed up with the wrong club back when he was just a kid. But Savage stuck by him, and when he got out, Savage was there to help him get back on his feet.”
“Are there one percenters in the Royal Harlots?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “Banshee and the other women are tough, but they haven’t been to prison. Do you think you might become a Harlot one day?” he asked.
Rebel shrugged, “No clue,” she admitted. “Hell, I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my little brother is in the FBI and is on the run from human traffickers. Plus, I have to worry about my asshole stalker coming after me now. You don’t think that he’ll be able to find me, do you?” she asked.
“Nope,” Bolt immediately answered. “And if he does, he’ll have to deal with me. That guy isn’t going to get anywhere near you, honey,” he promised. He meant it too. That asshole wasn’t going to lay one finger on her—not on his watch. He was more concerned about the Dead Rabbits catching up with them, but he was going to keep that fact to himself. “Thank you for keeping me safe, Bolt,” Rebel almost whispered, snuggling into his body.
Bolt wrapped a protective arm around her and kissed the top of her head. “You never have to thank me for keeping you safe, honey. I’ll always have your back.” She nodded and laid her head on his shoulder. He wanted to say so much more to her. Bolt wanted to tell Rebel that he loved her and that no one else would ever hurt her if he had a say in the matter, but when he heard her softly snoring, he knew that he had missed his window of opportunity. Bolt closed his eyes and lay back in his seat,knowing that sooner or later, he’d tell her all those things, but for now, he’d let her get some rest.
Rebel
They flew into the tiny local airport that was closest to the rental cabin. After Ryder unloaded them from the plane and got them to the waiting SUV, he boarded his plane and took off for home. Rebel was impressed that he was so devoted to his family that he wanted to get home right away, but Bolt explained that his wife would murder him if he stayed away from home for too long, so he opted to fly home right away when he had the option to do so.
Rebel sat curled up in the passenger seat of Bolt’s truck, staring out at the blur of trees rushing past them in the dark. The radio was off, and the only sounds were the steady growl of the engine and the low hum of the tires on the asphalt. Now and then, she’d sneak a glance at Bolt—his jaw set, one hand loose on the wheel, the other resting on his thigh. He hadn’t said much since they left the little airport where Ryder had dropped them off, and the weight of that silence felt like an elephant sitting on her chest.
Her phone buzzed in her lap, the screen lighting up with Jace’s name. Rebel hesitated, then swiped to answer. “Rebel?” His voice was rough, tired, like he hadn’t slept in days. “I’msorry,” he said. He sounded so much like the boy that she had raised, all she wanted to do was find out where he was and go to him. She felt so helpless, and he sounded as though he needed her.
