Page 3 of Promised Secret
To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I even wanted to go to college. It was expensive, and I wasn’t exactly book smart. I figured I’d work for a couple years before joining the police academy, but Dan’slao-bahad encouraged me to continue my studies and at least get my degree.
Lao-ba.
It was what Dan called his dad, and when I asked him what it meant, he answered that it literally translated to “old dad,” but it was an affectionate thing to call your dad in Mandarin.
I secretly tested the word in my mind.
Any affection I could have had with my sperm donor died the first time I witnessed him raise his hands toward my mom. She stayed even when her body wasbruised purple, saying she didn’t want me to grow up without a father.
She took me and left him the first time she caught him hitting me. It wasn’t the first time that motherfucker had laid hands on me, but I’d kept it hidden because I thought keeping the family together had been important to her.
We both thought we knew what the other wanted when, in reality, I just wanted my mom to be safe and happy, and she wanted the same.
So yeah…I never knew the affection Dan shared with his dad, but I craved it. Sometimes I imagined Dan’slao-baas mine as well. It was so easy to picture when the man treated me better than my sperm donor ever did.
Plus, it was hard not to consider him a father figure when he’d been there for me ever since my mom and I moved to Kither Springs. He’d always welcomed me at the clinic when I came to play with Dan and gave me the same sage advice he gave his own son.
He wasn’t the most obviously affectionate person—which was fine for me since I didn’t like being touched much—but he showed his care by being there and always making sure I was fed.
I knew he treated me so well because I was Dan’s best friend, but sometimes I wondered if there was another reason for it, too. Mom and I ate dinner with them more often than not these days. Dan’s dad invited me to stay one day after playing in the clinic and hadextended the invitation to my mom as well, then they made the excuse that it was easier to feed two bottomless teen boys if they teamed up to make dinner together, which meant we were at the Yao house most days.
I knew Mom and Victor—Dan’s dad—were friends, but sometimes I wondered if there was something more between them.
Mom had stopped smiling by the time we’d moved to Kither Springs, but her smiles had returned recently. She smiled a lot when Victor was around, and not the forced kind I knew she did to keep up appearances with the nosy townsfolk. It was the genuine kind, like she was truly happy, likeVictor made her happy.
Sometimes, I fantasized about them dating and getting married. Victor would become mylao-ba, and best of all, Dan and I would be family. We’d never have to worry about our friendship potentially fading because we’d be brothers.
“Where’s your mom?” Dan asked when I sat on the stool beside him.
“Stuck at work. Said she’ll head over after,” I replied.
He made a noise of acknowledgement, then gestured for me to scoot closer so that he could lean his head against my shoulder. In our sitting position, his head was mostly pressed against my arm than anything else. He was currently a head shorter than me—another fact he loathed—but given how tall hislao-bawas, I hada feeling Dan would reach my height after his growth spurt.
We stayed like that, with him leaning against me while reading his latest medical book, and me mostly studying him as I watched him read. He always had his nose buried in a book despite his grumblings, saying he’d rather be playing outside. Dan never half-assed anything, that’s for sure.
People had always surrounded Dan. He was charismatic andhad an air about him that’d naturally lured them in. The other kids from our class called it the “Dan effect,” and I was one of his victims.
Ever since the first time I’d met him in the clinic when I was ten and he was nine, he’d captivated me under some kind of spell that had me longing to exist in his orbit.
“Why are you staring at me?” he asked without even looking up from what he was reading.
How he even knew was beyond me, but this wasn’t the first time he’d caught me staring without even looking in my direction. Maybe he had eyes on the back of his head?
When I didn’t answer, he straightened in his seat and looked at me. His eyes trailed down from mine to my lips before he flicked his gaze away with a scowl.
Was he still pissed off about the time I bumped into his lips with mine and knocked out his baby tooth?
When we first learned we were in the same class in school, he gave me weird looks and avoided me for anentire month. He was never mean to me, but it’d still stung, feeling like he’d rejected me. Especially since I thought he looked so cool talking about police officers and protecting the people we loved, then actually saving me when I tripped.
I wanted to be his friend, but the idea quickly faded when I realized he was still upset about the incident. Which was why I’d been shocked when he came up to me one day during recess and asked to play with me.
We’d beeninseparable ever since.
“Stop staring at me,” Dan muttered, eyes still avoiding me and a frown on his face.
I smiled at how much he looked like a disgruntled puppy and at how happy I was that he was showing me something other than his usual charming smile. Dan acted like the happy dude who’d never had a single worry in his life, but I knew he kept his true feelings close to his heart.
To others, he never showed how much he worried about making his dad proud or how he’d agonize over a single decision until he’d make himself sick from the stress. I considered myself lucky that he revealed those sides of himself to me. It meant we were close.
