Page 23 of Promised Secret
It was purely an accident. Besides, it wasn’t like I kissed Dan because I had the desire for it. I was only comforting him.
The hot-tub kiss didn’t seem like he was the one being comforted. That kiss had been all for me. I’d been aggressive and fucking stupid to do that at Jones’ cabin, where we could have gotten caught at any moment. But I’d felt Dan pulling away, and I needed confirmation that he was still there with me.
It hadn’t solved anything. Afterwards, Dan pretended like the hot-tub kiss never happened, and I could feel him slipping through my fingers even more.
“I don’t know what to think, honey,” Mom said, a slight tremble in her voice that troubled me. “Sometimes I worry because of what happened between me and your—myex-husband—it messed something up for you.Like you no longer believe in love or want to find love. I’m so scared I failed you.”
“Mom…”
She sucked in a deep, steadying breath. “Sorry, I wasn’t trying to burden you. I just worry, Clay. You and Dan are so close now, but what’s going to happen when he finds someone to settle down with? Who will be by your side?”
My fists tightened by my side just at the thought of Dan belonging to someone else. It’d always been us—Dan and me—against the world. We’d planned on joining the police force together, and when Dan decided to take over the family clinic, he still thought of us as a unit, protecting our community together.
I couldn’t imagine a world where I was the sidekick to Dan and his future partner—the third wheel. But it was bound to happen eventually, wasn’t it? Dan would find someone he wanted to be with and fall in love. It was what he wanted. Why else would he date so much?
Then where would that leave me?
“I’ll be fine,” I said weakly. Even I didn’t believe my words.
Mom didn’t call me out on it. “Just think about it, okay?” she said instead.
The clinic came into sight. I stopped and rubbed my eyes. “Listen, Mom. I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?” I said, in lieu of a reply.
“Okay, honey. I love you. Tell Dan I said hi.”
“I will, and love you, too,” I said and ended the call.
I stayed outside of the clinic for a minute, trying to get a hold of my emotions. Things had been so weird with Dan lately that I’d been on edge. I didn’t know up from down anymore.
All I knew was that something was changing between us, something big and unavoidable, and I didn’t like it.
They say the only constant in life was change, and wasn’t that the shittiest thing ever?
I knew I couldn’t stall forever, so I pulled my shit together and entered the clinic.
Rosa had left already, but Dan and Frederick were sitting in the waiting area, heads close together as they looked at something inside the cardboard box on Frederick’s lap.
Dan looked up when I entered, and a huge smile lit up his face when he saw me. It reminded me of the first time we’d met.
Our positions had been reversed then. I was sitting where he was, and there was no one else here. It was just us.
I’d been a scared little kid, and Dan had been the hero who cut through the darkness to introduce light back into my life. And I’d bathed in the glow of his existence ever since. I needed it.
“Clay!” Dan waved me over, a hint of his usual self returning. I couldn’t have walked away even if I wanted to. “Take a look at these cuties.”
Frederick angled the box to reveal two small noses poking out through wood shavings.
“Are those…rats?” I squeaked. I’d never been so close to rats before. The most I knew about them was from that one movie about the rat chef and all the news I hear about the diseases they spread. Instinctively, I took a step away.
My hesitance didn’t go unnoticed by Dan. Of course it didn’t.
He reached into the box—fucking fearless—and scooped a rat from where they’d buried deeper into the wood shavings.
The rat squeaked, but probably realizing Dan wasn’t going to hurt it, quieted down. The rat was mostly gray, with a small patch of white near its hind legs. It was what I expected a rat to look like, except its tail was hooked instead of straight.
“His name is Hook because of his tail. He was born like this,” Frederick explained.
Hook sniffed Dan’s hand, his little whiskers dancing at the action. He turned around again and curled his hooked tail around Dan’s fingers.
