Page 78 of Marriage is a Shore Thing
“How ‘bout you?”
I let myself deviate from my plan, telling Mama about surfing—how even for someone who’s athletic, it’s harder than it looks. We laugh at me taking a header off the front of my board and the kids boogie boarding nearby paddling up to see if I was okay. It was sweet of them to check on me, but I’ve yet to find an unkind local in Wilks Beach. And yes, I’m rolling Carol into that mix. She’s cantankerous but not cruel.
“Don’t go smashing your head in while you’re on break. You’ll need those brains of yours to get back to work at Nashville Medical Center.”
My chuckle dies in my throat, and I swallow hard. Lying to her every day has darn near killed me over these past few weeks, but I’ve managed to keep our conversations tethered to the people I’ve met around town, activities with new friends, and the repairs I’ve been helping Geneva with.
“Mama, we need to talk.”
“About how you’re in love with your roommate? I already know that.”
“What?” I sputter, coughing. “What are you talking about?”
I’d planned on finally talking about Taylor. I wanted to discuss my sister—what I loved about her, what I missed about her—with someone whoknewher. Speaking to Geneva has been a balm I hadn’t known I needed, but talking about Taylor with Mama is something that’s important to me too. Also, I think it might help Mama. I know every grief journey is different, and I spent a lot of time running from mine, but I realize now the only way to deal with these crushing emotions is to trudge through them, as much as that feels impossible some days.
“Oh, bub. Did you forget that I know you better than the back of my hand?”
No use denying something that’s absolutely there—not when simply seeing Geneva is the best part of my day.
I run my fingers through my hair, taking a deep breath of briny air. “What else do you know?”
“That this break was an excuse to spend time with her.”
I blink at the crashing waves before a laugh bursts from my mouth.
“Mamas know these things,” she tells me without an ounce of smugness. “Just sometimes we keep it to ourselves. Like when you and Taylor used to sneak cookies, thinking I was clueless and couldn’t do simple math. I was just letting you have your fun.”
“So you were just letting me have my fun here?” I ask through a chuckle.
“Aren’t you?” Her question isn’t a challenge, more of an open opportunity.
“I am, Mama. I really am. More fun than I’ve had in a long time.”
And it’s more than spending time with Geneva. I hadn’t realized how much I’d shut myself off from others by working overtime. Even before Taylor’s passing, I’d often pass up an opportunity to get together for a game of basketball or round of drinks in favor of picking up another shift. In my mind, it was a way to ensure I had enough money for my family, but I didn’t realize how muchlifeI’d been missing out on. Not having back-to-back shifts has allowed me to learn to surf, discover I really like DIY projects, and…tobreathefor the first time ever.
She hums. “Are you coming back?”
This time, I hear a hint of hesitation over the phone line.
“I don’t know,” I hedge, because I honestly don’t.
With Joanna’s family ring retrieved, it became crystal clear to me that I want to stay. I want this fake marriage between us to be real. Geneva took it upstairs to clean last night. The plan is to return it to Joanna at family dinner on Sunday. Today, I’ll needto find out if Geneva wants to give this—to give us—an honest shot.
I’d love to fully unburden myself and stop this acid from bubbling up in my throat, but telling Mama that we’re accidentally married when Geneva might not want this to be real seems pointless. I’ve already kept the lie this long, what’s another day? There’ll be heck to pay when Mama finds out, but Geneva is undeniably worth it.
“I’m gonna want to meet her.”
“You’ll love her,” I say without an ounce of doubt.
She gives me another hum, this one assessing.
The smile splitting my mouth feels brighter than the sun over the glistening water. “You will, Mama. I promise.”
A sigh floats over the phone. “I wish Taylor could have seen you this giddy.”
Guilt pinches at my side, stealing my next breath. There had been many times when I’d turned Taylor down in favor of working too. Now I’d give anything to go back and say yes, to have more time with my sister. But I had no idea that fate would sweep an ugly hand and take one of the best people I’ve ever known. And the worst part is, I fully understand how the human body justfailssometimes. I’ve seen it make miraculous recoveries, but there are conditions that can take a life in minutes—like Taylor’s subarachnoid hemorrhage.
“I miss her, Mama.” My words are barely audible over the rushing waves.
