Page 81 of A Royal Arrangement
“What was the word?” Rosalie asked, even though she wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.
“Annulment.”
Her heart dropped into her stomach. She had thought maybe he would mention a marriage ofconvenienceor a bit ofseparationto figure out what he wanted. But she’d never imagined he would want to undo their marriage as if it had never even happened.
Rosalie fumbled backward, trying to find something to steady her.
“If you care about me, why were you considering an annulment?”
“It wasn’t something I was seriously considering. It was something I said in the heat of the moment when I was talking to Wes, trying to figure out a way to get out before I hurt you.”
“What do you mean before you hurt me?”
“I care so deeply for you that I want more for you, Rosalie. You deserve so much more than the broken heart I can offer you.”
“You don’t get to decide what I deserve, Colin.”
“I—” he stuttered. “I guess I never thought about it that way. I only want to protect you.” Her expression softened, and he continued. “Neither of us saw this marriage coming, and I admit I was stuck in the past.” Colin stepped toward her and took her hand. “But you helped me to move forward. You helped me learn it’s okay for me to still have love for Isabella and talk about her. But you also showed me I can make room for someone else in my heart.”
“Then why are you pushing me away?” Rosalie managed to croak out the words, even though her throat felt raw and tight with emotion.
“I panicked.” He paced the room, running his hands through his hair before balling his hands into fists at his sides. “I’ve lost so many people who were close to me—my parents and then Isabella. If I let you truly into my heart, and then I lose you too…”—Colin thrust his hands into his pockets, and his jaw ticked—“I’m not sure I could handle losing you.”
“We’re never promised tomorrow, but that doesn’t mean we should live every day in fear. It means we should live fully. Live without regrets. Live like every day is our last. Justlive.”
Colin pulled her in for a long hug and kissed the crown of her head. “You make everything sound so simple, sunshine,” he whispered into her ear, making goosebumps break out all over her skin.
“That’s because itissimple. I know what I want, but it sounds like you still need to figure some things out.” Shetook a step back. “Addie is waiting for dinner. You should go join her.”
He removed his hands from her arms and cleared his throat. It looked like he was going to say something but then thought better of it and closed his mouth. When he opened it again, he merely asked, “You’re not going to join us?”
Rosalie shook her head, blinking back the tears in her eyes. She didn’t want time or space. She wantedhim, but she didn’t want to tell Colin that right now when he didn’t know whathewanted. “Will you please have someone bring my dinner to my room? I think I’m going to retire for the evening.”
“Of course.” He walked to the door but stopped just before walking through it. When he turned to face her again, he leaned one elbow against the doorframe.
She could see the ridges of his arm muscles through his white button-down. Rosalie bit down on her bottom lip before inhaling sharply, trying to tone down her attraction to him.
“We should talk more about this later, though. Any place, any time, and I’ll be there.”
“I’ll let you know,” she said, and then he was gone. And with him, her heart in his hands. Only time would tell if he would treasure it or break it.
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Rosalie
The next morning, Rosalie’s phone alarm went off, playing an old One Direction song. She groaned, pulling an extra pillow over her head to muffle the loud sound. Most of her night had been spent either crying or tossing and turning while her thoughts ran a million miles a minute.
With a pounding headache, she turned off the song that was usually one of her favorites. But this morning, she didn’t want to hear anyone singing about someone having theone thingthat they wanted. It was only a reminder that she didn’t know if she could have the thing she wanted most—Colin’s heart.
Rosalie ran her fingers through her hair and rubbed the sleep from her eyes before walking over and sitting on her couch. She tucked her legs up beneath her and typed out a text to her best friend, asking if she had time to talk. Almost immediately, an incoming call popped up on her phone from Charlotte.
Rosalie swiped her thumb across the screen to answer the call. “Hey.”
“Ro, I was just thinking about you! How did your DTR with Colin go?”
The minute she heard Charlotte’s voice, the tears came pouring out. Through her sobs, she shared everything that had happened since she had texted her friends about her first kiss with Colin. Once she’d let everything out, Rosalie felt twenty pounds lighter.
After a thoughtful pause, Charlotte said, “Please know that I’m saying all of this because I love you. Normally, I would totally say I’m going to come slap some sense into him…but in my honest opinion, I think Colin is in love with you.”
