Page 69 of The Temptation
We formed a semicircle in front of Sawyer’s grave, and I got the impression that they expected me to say something, but I didn’t know what to say now that we were standing there.
“You remember that time he stayed in that blond’s dorm room and the dumbass pissed her off, so she threw all his clothes out the window?” Rome asked.
I bit my lip as the memory immediately sprang to mind. Next to me, Sebastian giggled, and even Declan’s shoulders shook.
“Other students grabbed his clothes before he could get to them. He was forced to cross half the campus with one shoe and a sock on his dick.” Sebastian chuckled.
“Or that time he woke up late for an exam and we convinced him it was Thursday instead of Wednesday,” Declan murmured.
A fractured laugh pushed past my lips. “He barged into the wrong class and demanded to take the exam even though he hadn’t taken a single class. What the hell class was that he stormed into?”
“Sociology,” Sebastian supplied.
“He was so pissed at us,” Declan stated.
Rome snorted, moving some leaves with the toe of his shoe. “He got over it and thought it was funny as hell.” Rome lifted his eyes to the headstone and smirked. “You were the worst student. Such a goof-off. I’m surprised you even had a shot at graduating in your senior year. I always figured that as long as you were a bigger goof-off than me, I still had a chance of graduating.”
“If it wasn’t about baseball, girls, or drinking, he really didn’t give a shit,” I stated. “He…you were so angry when I was considering dropping from the team.”
I lifted my head and stared up at the sky to hold in a sudden swell of tears. My voice turned ragged, but I had to get the words out. “I don’t know if I told you, but shortly after we met, Sawyer threatened some guys on the team. It got around pretty quickly that I was gay. Some of them were talking trash about me. Sawyer heard and threatened to beat the shit out of them if he ever heard them mouthing off again. We barely knew each other, but I never doubted that he had my back.”
“Sawyer loved you like a brother. Always,” Sebastian stated.
“That’s why it killed me to even think of giving up baseball. It was our thing. But it had become too hard to keep up with my studies and my training.” I dropped my gaze to his headstone, my brow furrowing. “Then you were always on my case about spending more time in the gym or the batting cage. I was a right fielder at Harvard, for fuck’s sake. It’s not like I was going to go professional. I still had to get into law school.”
“Sometimes, I think he wondered whether you would remain friends if you weren’t playing baseball,” Sebastian said, his voice barely above a whisper.
My head jerked toward him, and I could only stare at Sebastian for a second. The thought had honestly never crossed my mind.
Sebastian smiled at me and shrugged. “You and Sawyer were very different. He was loud and outgoing. All about the party and having fun. You were at Harvard with a serious goal of graduating at the top of our class so you could easily go on to law school. There was no way you were going to let anything pull you off track. Even Sawyer.”
It made sense. Every time I’d bitched about baseball and how it was interfering with my studies, Sawyer had gotten this panicked look in his eyes before losing his temper.
“Jackass,” I muttered at his headstone. “We would have always been friends, even if I wasn’t playing baseball. We didn’t need that to stay together.”
But that was Sawyer. He hadn’t handled change well. As soon as something in his routine shifted, he’d panic and throw a fit. He would eventually adapt, but he wasn’t the type to roll with the punches. He’d had to punch back and try to force the world to remain exactly how he’d always known it to be.
A new, frightening thought entered my brain, stealing my breath away.
“Is that why you lost your shit that day? It wasn’t me, but Simon was getting older. That Simon might be attracted to someone or have feelings for someone.” I huffed and shook my head even as my throat tightened. “Fucking idiot.” I blinked away tears and sniffed, trying to drag air into my lungs. “Simon turned thirteen that year. He couldn’t stay your awkward little brother forever. Of course he was going to have feelings for people. At least it was me he approached.Someone safe.Hell, Sawyer. Do you have any idea how much you hurt me that day? I know you wanted to protect your brother, but if you’d stopped to think for two seconds, you’d have known that I only wanted to keep him safe too.”
Reaching up, I roughly brushed away the tears that were trying to break free. “But things have changed. Simon is twenty-seven now, and so fucking amazing. You would be so proud of him. He’s so brave and talented. Utterly fearless, just like you. He won’t let anything or anyone stand in his way.” My breath seemed to rattle in my chest as I released it. “Yet, he still needs someone to protect him and take care of him. I want—no, Iwill bethat person. I love him so fucking much. No one has ever made me so happy or feel so treasured. I want to be the one who stands by his side as he conquers the world. And I want to be the one he comes home to when he needs to rest and escape all his fans.”
Sebastian wrapped an arm around my shoulders, pulling me against him on my left, while Rome patted my right arm.
“I don’t think there’s anyone else in the world who could love Simon more,” Sebastian murmured.
“Or take better care of him,” Rome added.
“Sawyer would be fine with this arrangement, I believe,” Declan declared with a nod.
We stood there in comfortable silence for another minute before Rome shivered next to me. “Okay, fuck this shit. It’sgetting dark. The sun is down, and the ghosts are gonna be out any minute now. I’m going to the car. Love ya, Sawyer, but I’m out.”
Rome turned and hurried away. Sebastian and Declan also said their good-byes, though with a bit more grace, leaving me alone with Sawyer.
I squatted next to his tombstone and brushed some leaves off the top.
“Your brother has stolen my gloves and scarf, so I can’t stay much longer.” I swallowed hard and whispered roughly, “I know you didn’t mean what you said, and I forgive you. It was a stupid fight, and it should never have happened. I also should have had the sense to talk to our friends sooner. But I promise to take good care of Simon. I love him with all my heart, and I plan to show him that every damn day of our lives together.”
