Page 159 of Knot Their Soldier: Part One
This is where I met these tenacious males and learned to follow my instincts. Where I discovered I’m capable of more than I ever dreamed possible.
And, if I’m truly honest with myself, it’s where I fell in love.
Chapter Fifty-Six
Knox
“I’m sorry.”
The words taste strange on my tongue.
Shade shifts stiffly in the passenger seat and blinks slowly at me through swollen, blackened eyes, and guilt claws at my throat.
My Beta Specialist is a mess of blood and bruises. He’s holding his arm close to his side, guarding his broken ribs from when I kicked him in misplaced anger.
I have to face facts. I’m a dickhead.
I’ve been an absolute cockwomble to not just Halley, but my brothers. I should’ve handled the situation better. I should’ve listened to Shade instead of losing my cool when he returned to camp smelling like her. When has he ever led me astray?
The last twenty-four hours have been the biggest failure of my career and my life. I blamed Shade and Halley for setting off the chain reaction of chaos, but I’m Alpha enough to recognize it was my leadership.
I fucked up and I can see it clearly now. From day one I approached training Halley Sparks wrong. My inflexible nature doomed the mission from the start, and I fear I’ve ruined something even more important – the possibility of more.
Blaze tells me I have a stick shoved up my ass, and I’m inclined to agree.
Except, I don’t know how to be any other way.
My gaze flicks to the rear-view mirror, immediately seeking her purple orbs that always see more than I want them to. As the truck jolts along the bumpy dirt track, I notice Halley’s head bobbing forward, sound asleep.
She’s worn out.
I was completely unprepared for the intensity of an Omega’s heat. It was explosive, and all the rumors I had heard paled in comparison to the reality. It didn’t sound like she was enjoying the waves of desire battering her body; rather, it was as if she was being tortured by them.
Her heartbreaking screams broke something inside me, and I knew I’d been wrong about her from the start. She didn’t need ‘toughening up,’ because Omega Halley Sparks is strong in ways I can’t comprehend.
In the battle’s aftermath, I have a clear head for the first time in weeks, and I know I owe Shade an apology. Not just as my subordinate, or a comrade, but as a friend. Someone who I admire and consider part of the family I never had. So I say it again, hoping he can hear how much I mean the words.
“Shade, mate, I was wrong and I’m sorry.”
I don’t have memories of a loving family or a pleasant childhood before the military. I wasn’t even born in Fathim. My parents were humans whose child was born with the Alpha genetic mutation. It’s rare, but it happens. In the purity obsessed country Hampcourt, they kill most babies born with a mutation,but my parents smuggled me across the border into Fathim, where the military took me in.
I grew up in an orphanage where affection was earned by strictly obeying orders. On my sixth birthday, I moved to the cadet program and my training began. When I reached twelve, they chose me for the Prime Alpha route.
Learning the enormous burden commanding others carries has taken a lifetime. Any Alpha can use an Alpha Command, but it takes a Prime Alpha to command others with integrity. I take pride in my self control and single-minded focus, which has led to the careful organization of everything in my life.
Until her.
She makes me want to be different.
I see the way she looks at my brothers, like they’ve hung the moon and are her wet dreams come true all at once. Since she arrived, I’ve been engaged in a constant battle with myself. I misplaced my frustration on her shoulders. Her gorgeous, soft shoulders. I want her to look at me with desire as well. I’m tired of being the villain.
“You don’t have to forgive me yet, but I’m going to show you.” I swallow, glancing in the mirror at Viper and Blaze. “I’ll prove I’m ready for change, I’m going to do better.”
Halley snorts in her sleep and flops her head onto Viper’s shoulder, nuzzling.
They say that Omegas are delicate little flowers.
That they are fragile and need to be cloistered away, hidden from the harsh realities of the world. Omegas are demanding and expensive. Moody and difficult to handle. A blessing and a burden. Not for the likes of a mere soldier.
